I got surgery less than a week ago to repair a torn ligament in my foot. Well, actually the doctor said it was completely severed since my MRI last spring, he couldn't believe I had been walking around in all that pain for so long. This two and a half year injury was actually more bearable than the pain I am going through right now. Although I am in physical pain from my 8 inch insicion, I am in even more pain from not being unable to walk. Unable to help, to take care of my kids, to drive, to cook, clean, bake, shower! Ugh. I must say that I am thankful this is only a 6 week ordeal, rather than having a permant disability. My heart truly goes to those who have to adjust to a new way of life, forever.
So besides the physical pain, I'm trying to figure out why this is so hard. I should be enjoying this time that I am excused from all house chores and school drop off. But I can't help but scan my surroundings even as I write, and evaluate all the things that I want to get up to do. Hang up that shirt, dust my dresser, straighten my bed, vacuum the cookie crumbs off the floor... I cannot believe how hard this is. I postponed this surgery for two and a half years because I knew it would be difficult, but I really didn't know it would be this difficult.
And not just me, Why can't we all rest? Why is our society so "GO! GO! GO!" all the time. We are in a hurry to get our kids in preschool from the moment they can walk. We hate to wait in a 5 minute line at the grocery store. Plan numerous vacations. We have to have our kids in ballet, soccer, swimming, and school clubs. On the weekends we must visit the zoo, the park, and attend all birthday parties we are invited to. But we can't even take a whole Sunday to rest. Now I am given this 6 week ticket to lay and rest. But instead I am bored and restless. My mind is busier than ever thinking about all the time I am wasting. All the cake orders I have had to turn down, and the warm weather outside that is fleeting.
In the meantime I pray that I can settle in and rest my mind. Focus on writing, drawing, and snuggling my girls. And more importanty spend time with the One person who is truly neglected in my busyness, God. My friend told me a quote she heard once, "All satan needs to do is keep a woman busy. And his work is done". It's so true. The precious time with our families, and with God, is so easily lost with each errand, project, and activity.
It's a time to rest, and focus on myself, and on God.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 NIV)
Oh and the commotion from the kitchen? My Lili somehow got a small metal birdcage from my old dollhouse stuck...wait for it....in between her two front teeth!
