tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51754099418526450512023-11-15T23:29:57.725-08:00Grace Like an AvalancheThoughts and stories about mommyhood, life, baking, and my love for God. Read as I look for the joy and lessons in my day, good or bad. Living by His grace and mercy daily, NinaNinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-79613237389525498372015-10-15T21:17:00.001-07:002015-10-15T22:16:31.544-07:00Oh ShartToday was not anything out of the ordinary, but today just was. I was reminded this morning that it was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss day, which is indeed a special day of remembrance. But really it was an ordinary day for me with school volunteering, a SAMs club stock up, Trader Joes run, school pick up, etc. Like any normal and busy day I think often of the little one we lost a few months ago. The void is still there. My womb still aches with the feeling of loss and sadness. The tears were unusually accessible today, right behind the eye balls. But as I pushed back discussing my feelings today, or letting myself cry, the day got heavier and much less ordinary than most. This evening as my hubby and I kissed briefly as he left for the evening for practice at church, the dreadful school night routine set in. <div><br></div><div>First dinner, that two thirds of my children didn't eat. My mood felt a bit heavier. Then bath time, they use conditioner instead of shampoo, and water is everywhere, ugh. It's officially time to graduate from the tub to exclusively showers. And after brushed tangles and pajamas, I send them in the other room to read and finish a math game. Oh how I loath homework math games. I hate homework, I hate math, I hate games. Torturous combo for me. But upon tossing the dinner dishes in the sink I can hear giggles from the other room. The loud and sort of naughty giggles, you know the kind. I yell down the hall an inquiry to the noise, with a quick response, "(Blank) is farting so much and it's so funny!" Yes, I have girls who fart, a lot. And think it's hilarious. One in particular was gassy and taking the stage as master tooter for the evening. But when I go and check in on the reading, and stupid math game...and fartiing... I have discovered this superstar farter has sharted in her pants in the middle of her performance. Awesome. Yes, this really happened. *Disclaimer for my friends without kids, kids are gross. They poop themselves trying to fart, they lick playgrounds, eat their boogers, and just plain smell! Guys, it was not funny at the time and just about sent me over the edge. After finishing homework with what felt like a pace of knee deep mud walking, I notice bedtime has come and gone. Another 10 minutes spent on teeth and actually laying their bodies still, in a bed, I keep peeking on the clock. 40 minutes past bedtime. Oh motherhood is draining. </div><div><br></div><div>October 15th ended with prayers, and the normal stalling of sleep. But the normal stalling somehow led to the discussion of their lost baby sibling. They asked how big the baby would be now, and how sad it still makes them. We don't discuss it enough. First of all because we just get so busy, but also its just hard. I hate seeing their sadness that still lingers, but it's getting better with time. I feel uncomfortable with answering all of the "why" questions, when I myself struggle to comprehend it all. But it was wonderful. They knew I wanted and needed to talk about it tonight, even if I didn't. More importantly, Jesus knew I needed to talk about baby tonight. Thank you, Jesus, for your faithfulness at the end of the day. You show up in the small things, in all things. Thanks for showing You really do care, and You really want to listen. Thanks for using my girls to do that today, even if they shart. See? He can even use the most unclean and unworthy of us! My smelly children are a prime example of that. </div><div> </div><div>On a very serious and amazing note...</div><div>My husbands cousin is doing an amazing thing, check it out: http://www.youaremissingfromme.org</div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-21941024320172011962015-10-05T13:33:00.001-07:002015-10-06T13:36:19.789-07:00Don't Forget Leg DayYou've all seen the memes, the ones about leg day. The dudes who only work out their biceps and chests, leaving their legs scrawny and unproportioned to their upper body. If you haven't, you need to Google that ASAP. This last year as I have been working out and <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">running and lifting again, I can feel my muscles. I can see my muscles. Even under the chub I'm still trying to loose I can feel the strong muscle under all that. Results I have enjoyed seeing through the grueling pain and long mornings in the gym, (or at the park :). But the last couple of months I have not been able to workout as much as I have been working out a different muscle, my heart. In August I found out that I was pregnant, a very shocking and almost scary discovery as we were not planning on having another child. But then soon after we fell in love with our unexpected blessing, we found out that I had lost the baby. We had to break the news to our girls who were elated at the idea of being big sisters. As we mounrned and cried as a family, we were left asking, why? Why did we all have to go through this? We were left confused and sad. I always said that I could never endure a miscarriage, and never understood how women get through it. And here I am, I made it through. But It was one of the deepest pains I've ever felt. </span><div><div><br></div><div>While I may never know why I went through what I did, I do know that my heart muscle is indeed stronger front the experience. Like so many difficult things I go through, I hate the pain and suffering, but enjoy the outcome. I am stronger, wiser, and my heart can handle more. I cannot forget that my heart muscle also needs a workout. Otherwise I will just have a small, puny, and weak heart. Incapable of handling stress and hard times. And with little capacity to love and unable to feel others pain as they go through the same struggles I have. As I look back into my past heart aches from years ago, I see more clearly why I went through what I did. I hold onto hope that the same clarity will come when I eventually look back at this time of my life. </div><div><br></div><div><div>“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”</div><div>Romans 5:3-5 </div></div><div><br></div><div>As as my heart recovers from its massive workout, I can count my blessings that it was a short time. Many struggles can be long and seem never ending. I have a friend going through an ugly divorce, another looking for a job for months while she single parents her daughter, and an old neighbor fighting cancer. These people, who are undeserving of such trials, are still in the storm. Although God is not the creator of our hardships, He does promise to never leave us. So I pray that He makes himself known to them, and to you today as you battle through life's most difficult times. I pray they, and you, know their hearts will be stronger in the end. Life is BRUTIFUL, as a favorite blogger of mine has said. I couldn't have said it better myself. </div></div><div><br></div><div>Living by His grace and mercy daily, Nina</div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-82108954889106508652015-01-28T23:47:00.001-08:002015-01-29T12:31:17.700-08:00Weak SauceSince my last blog post I've been trying to write a lighter and funnier entry. But it doesn't seem to unfold as I begin to write. The difficult things in my life are what materialize into blogs most often. The lessons I find in my weaknesses usually are more worth sharing. <div><br></div><div>There are plenty of joyful and fun things that happen to me daily, but none unravel into a profound lesson quit like my short comings do. And the main reason for this is because quite frankly, I am weak. Did ya hear me?? "I SAID I'M WEAK!" At every confession of this I am able to then boast on the strength that is my God. Through every hardship I encounter and every mistake I make I can allow The Lord to show His greatness through my weakness. Which allows me to be a million times stronger with Him than I could ever be on my own. </div><div><br></div><div>Kara who has stage 4 cancer and writes the blog, Mundane Faithfulness, says this: </div><div><br></div><div>"<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Faking strength leaves us all weaker in the end."</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Isn't this so true? Even admitting when I'm feeling weak gives me strength as I let go of the pressure to be strong all the time. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Check out her amazing journey, blogs, and book here </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">http://www.mundanefaithfulness.com</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> 2 Corinthians 12:9 </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So stop pretending you have it all together when you're feeling inadequate. Being a mom, wife, and plain ol' human being some days is just tough. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So expect many more posts in the future that follow my current writing trend :)</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you can relate to this, than try other related blogs of mine:</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div>Bored and Restless: http://mommynina.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-bored-and-restless.html?m=1</div><div><br></div><div>I Got This:</div><div>http://mommynina.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-got-this.html?m=1</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrY3GVWdb7O8KCjjC55aCRZsSC2wmp97cCOA4yKjr27TVL2GrVS61_S9xEAlE2dVeDKxXsCgWUNYnDzsJ7oNiLK9ANs8UEDi-uMdMfHHpXJZKgLoYjI9OFZHEQRfDgzHWhfhi5wt4WgbL2/s640/blogger-image--573881828.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrY3GVWdb7O8KCjjC55aCRZsSC2wmp97cCOA4yKjr27TVL2GrVS61_S9xEAlE2dVeDKxXsCgWUNYnDzsJ7oNiLK9ANs8UEDi-uMdMfHHpXJZKgLoYjI9OFZHEQRfDgzHWhfhi5wt4WgbL2/s640/blogger-image--573881828.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-63062863762353613042015-01-16T20:07:00.001-08:002015-01-19T14:24:35.336-08:00The InvestmentLast week was one full of sadness and obstacles. All week I was fighting off tears each day. Running through the daily routine with little tiny speed bumps put in my way. I can only think of my roller blading days (yes, my sweet middle school mode of transportation!) when I used to get tripped up by a twig or giant gap between sidewalk tiles. I would often lose my balance and feel as if I was heading for a nasty fall (which I'm sure occasionally happened) but I would recover and stay on my feet to keep on bladin' to the pool. Oh the life of a middle schooler in the 90's! And those wrist guards! Wowsa.<div><br></div><div>Life feels like there is no return lately. Like I'm investing in so many areas in my life and I'm yet to see my investments pay out. Living in a society where we feed off of instant gratification, I have a hard time waiting for results. When the girls were younger I often felt restless when mothering got mundane. Feeding after feeding. Diaper after diaper. And some days all I felt like all I was doing was discipling them. Only to see no changes in the following day. But now I can say that my children are healthy and (for the most part) well mannered and sweet girls. Making those deposits into their lives visible years later. </div><div><br></div><div>Now I'm currently focusing on myself attempting to change. I'm once again on the rocky weight loss journey. Again. I'm investing into myself which is hard to begin with. Then investing 4-5 workouts a week makes it harder. It's been an investment of time and money. After my initial weight loss I have now plateaued. Of course the holidays had some effect on this. But as I continue on I'm frustrated with no results. And just like the twigs I used to trip on roller blading, so many things this week have tripped me up. I was told that I had a baby in my tummy by a 4 year old. Yikes. A day later I figured out, in a round about way, that I was being told that my brand new heart monitor can't find my heart rate through my fat. Ouch. And to top it off the scale went up. After 5 workouts this week. It. Went. Up. </div><div><br></div><div>Speed bumps. Waiting. Discouragement. I know you can relate. </div><div><br></div><div>But the bottom line is this. The investments we involve ourselves in will always take time. At least the most worthwhile investments will. Whether you're a pastor building a ministry one person at a time. A mom raising children, littles OR teenagers. A man working his ass off for 4 years with no raise. A women taking fertility treatments and blood tests trying to get pregnant. The time and wait can be disappointing and incredibly frustrating. Just like investing in the stock market, there are ups and downs. There is so much on the line. </div><div><br></div><div>Today I wanted to quit. As I rowed on that stupid rowing machine and fought back tears of inadequacy, fatness, and failure I wanted to walk out and cancel my next week of workouts. But I didn't. I saw through the lies. I stuffed the tears and rowed through the pain. I reminded myself why I was there in the first place. Years of not investing into myself. So this investment will take awhile to finally see my return. I will deposit a little piece of myself daily. I<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> can't see exactly what my heart rate is doing when I workout, but I do know that it's doing something. I know I'm sweating my face off and I can't breath. And my clothes are fitting differently, even if the scale doesn't reflect it. The results will come. I press one. Well....row on, to be exact 😊</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"He reminds us almost everywhere to walk by faith in a promised future and not by the sight of immediate gratification (2 Corinthians 5:7)."</span></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-37394764025021598822015-01-05T22:17:00.001-08:002015-01-16T12:43:57.511-08:00Mop Up and RecoveryAs my blogs become fewer and fewer as of late, I've had numerous people ask why. I only blogged twice in 2014. My sweet friends have been inquiring as to when I'm going to post again. Honestly, I'm just not sure anyone really cares about what I have to say. Plus, there are WAY too many blogs floating around about the craziness that is mothering small ones. Far less chaotic and funny things happen in my day-to-day life as my kids grow. I mean, it's still crazy, but now my chaos consists of getting in and out of the car for school drop offs, trying to balance a baking business, teaching part time, play dates, and telling my kids to get off the ipad because they've been on it too long. Opposed to my previous chaos with 3 kids under 2 years of age, which was mostly diapers, bottles, naps...survival. I was in survival mode. And guess what, I made it! The kids made it. AND my marriage made it! But now what?<div><br></div><div>Now I'm in survival mode. I was sitting outside my friends apparent building the other day waiting to get my kids. And I saw a man carrying an industrial fan inside, which was no doubt for a lot of water. My friend had experienced a pipe break last winter which drenched everything. They had to quickly try to save everything they could from the water, And after, they had the big fans plugged in to dry out everything. Life with littles is like this (especially with twins). You can't count everything in your life as a total loss, but it is all somewhat damaged. Everything is drenched and dripping with water and goo, literally poop and boogers everywhere from kids. Nothing has been untouched from the craziness that takes over your life. My friendships did not remain untouched from this damage, neither did my relationship with God, and certainly not my body and health! </div><div><br></div><div>I'm feeling like we have pulled out the fans, and we are waiting for everything to dry as we are in this new season with the girls. Time to bring out the fans and see what can be salvaged in our life. What can be saved. The mop up and recovery season begins. A season of needing my mom less, and the gym more. Needing to wash clothes less frequently, and seeing friends more. Less little butt wiping, and more "me time".</div><div> </div><div>For those of you still in survival mode, hopefully this will give you an idea as to what's ahead. Or feel free to go back and read my old blogs. The one about all 3 girls getting the stomach flu at the same time was particularly amusing.</div><div><br></div><div>Happy mothering! No matter where you are in the flood 😊</div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-73382907015031022622014-09-06T15:24:00.001-07:002014-09-09T22:28:09.740-07:00What Does Your Heart Carry? ❤️<font color="#000000" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFZRigPR7RGdM2IOkO-2T38Jy6BslgJwh7qiRdoQS7BWgcMPhSpSrZxuH42JE5drYeyS8YDvGG2Nu6MWwbz3KxrUhPOfdvgwmbck_UbdxxQGurxR_lTJTbgXoTQkvKBFA4GUh2Iw53xkYC/s640/blogger-image-2083775077.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFZRigPR7RGdM2IOkO-2T38Jy6BslgJwh7qiRdoQS7BWgcMPhSpSrZxuH42JE5drYeyS8YDvGG2Nu6MWwbz3KxrUhPOfdvgwmbck_UbdxxQGurxR_lTJTbgXoTQkvKBFA4GUh2Iw53xkYC/s640/blogger-image-2083775077.jpg"></a></font><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span><div>Today the girls pulled out some Christmas movies, in September!! I haven't even gotten used to the approaching Fall season yet, let alone Christmas! Stupid Fall. Anyway, they picked The Grinch. I overheard the girls talking while they watched and Lili says, "<i>THAT'S </i>his heart?!", in shock of how small it was. Bella answered "yep". Followed by Gabi's informational, "Yea, the heart carries the <i>love.</i>" After melting from the cuteness of Gabi's statement I began to think. So cute and so true....What else does the heart carry? What does <i>my</i> heart carry? <div><br></div><div>This led me to look deep into my heart. I would like to think it only has love in it. Love for my girls, my husband, and God, etc. But what am I harboring in my heart that is making it Grinch like? Then this ugly word came jumping out at me, Jealousy. I've never thought of myself as a jealous person. I truly am genually happy for people when they succeed. When they get well deserved gifts and accomplishments. But as of late, I seem to covet those successes and blessings. I want them! My heart asks, "Why do I have to coupon and budget at the store every week and then hold my breath to see what my total is?" "How come my neighbor has a nice new car when mine looks like there is a bullet hole on the side and that I could deal drugs from out the window?" AND "why does SHE have a husband that makes so much money?" Then my most common heart question, "Why do they get to have a yard and a beautiful home and we don't??" Things. I'm coveting and jealous over THINGS. Ew. What a horrible and ugly thing for my heart to carry! God tells us<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> "</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Luke12:34) I often want things to be my treasures. But it shouldn't be. I should not let the wants of my mind take over my heart. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">What does your heart carry today? Hate, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, or jealousy? Sadness, selfishness, or pride? 💔</span></div><div><br></div><div>The Bible says, "<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23) I need to keep the uglys out of my heart. Guard it from the jealousy. So these things I hold will not seep into every aspect of my life. I want grace, mercy, love, and gentleness to overflow from the heart and get into everything else I do. </span></div><div> </div><div>Last night we attended a wedding of a couple from our church. The maid of honor gave a lovely speech. This one piece of advice she gave the couple really stuck out, "Love Jesus first every morning before you attempt to love anyone else". Simple and true. When I love Jesus I find it SO much easier to love the people who mistreat me. To love my kids when they annoy me. And to love my husband better when he walks in the door after a long day of work. </div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our hearts are in need of a Savior. We all fill our hearts with things that don't belong. Thank you God for sending your son Jesus. The Redeemer of all short comings and sins. It's exhausting trying to keep up with the Jones'. Trying to carry it all myself, it's too much. Jesus has filled in my gaps, replaced my emptyness and fear. What. A. Relief. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Listen carefully, watch this video </span><a href="http://youtu.be/p7as4NRCpKs" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">http://youtu.be/p7as4NRCpKs</a></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicxP3fgjcJQ0vSJZxziG0fq5y9uRRq9ZrnJ0LNwsCQ0WCIO_GQZfX5hfQ9FXMEl9DFWsU7chFeqqCMVxleE3vS-At7_T_KD9w_jdJqEwAHKB9J0rOToM7twlf1vdncTSTeQSN2cRy4GMp2/s640/blogger-image-313371925.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicxP3fgjcJQ0vSJZxziG0fq5y9uRRq9ZrnJ0LNwsCQ0WCIO_GQZfX5hfQ9FXMEl9DFWsU7chFeqqCMVxleE3vS-At7_T_KD9w_jdJqEwAHKB9J0rOToM7twlf1vdncTSTeQSN2cRy4GMp2/s640/blogger-image-313371925.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Now go and Google "bible verses heart", Do it. ❤️ </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></span></div></div></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-83152512633455899502014-08-22T15:50:00.001-07:002014-08-22T17:21:21.168-07:00It Could Have Been Worse.Opening up Blogger to see I haven't made one post this year. Not one wittle blog. But who has the time these days? Clearly not I. This week leaves me on the couch, breathing in the rainy air from the open patio door, and enjoying my musky smelling Paris candle burning next to me...having just washed bright red blood out of Gabi's precious white cardigan sweater. <div><br></div><div>This week has been a hell of a week. School started for Isabella, full days, a first for us all. Our condo went on the market, 12+ showings in less than 24 hours. The cleaning, and leaving. Then cleaning again.... and then leaving, again. Oh, and there is the realtor letting herself in as I step out of the shower. Yep. Plus a notice to get out by October 1st by our landlord. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if the renting AND buying market wasn't a disaster. $1700 for a two bed one bath? $2200 for a 3 bed 2 bath? Ummmmm WHAT!? Am I the only one looking around saying....WTH?!?! Everyone is just digging deaper in their pocket and mine seems to have a hole. Well that's a whole different blog entry, which I might get to next year at this rate!</div><div><br></div><div>But the blood, oh man. After Gabi toppled out of the car attempting to sit in her booster seat, blood. Lots of squirting dripping bright red blood. As I looked for the source all kinds of things ran through my head. All of the left field "what ifs" a mom's brain can entertain. But after a long visit to the ER, observation, a little staple, and lots of tears, we are home. It could have been a lot worse. A head first fall from 3-4 feet could have rendered a real serious injury, hence my crazy "what if" thoughts. But it was also the thought "is this really happening AGAIN?" All of our girls have had an emergency fix up of some kind. Myself included. Our medical debt can testify so.</div><div><br></div><div>I have a hard time not feeling guilty when I am frustrated with life. When I feel bombarded by sickness in our home (the entire last month), I have to tell myself, at least its not a long term illness. And our housing situation...it could be worse, I'm glad we aren't homeless? Or a glance at our empty bank account, well, my husband could be unemployed? But the relentless shots at our family have been just that, relentless. </div><div><br></div><div>But I've learned that your problems are your problems. They still hurt. No matter the size. I often feel bad for feeling bad. If that makes any sense. But we each have our own cross to bear. I am thankful that God has chosen me to deal with these things rather than heavier ones. And we can't discount what others are feeling and going through because their hurts seem "smaller" than ours. </div><div><br></div><div>I hope your August has been more peaceful than mine! And that your hurts are short lived and eased by the Comforter Himself. Because Jesus carried the biggest burden of us all and paid us up in full. We can find true Joy and Peace in Him alone as we walk through our trials. For that I am SO thankful....it could be worse...what if I didn't know the Savior that carries me through? That would be worse.</div><div><br></div><div>I lay my heavy heart at your feet Jesus. Thank you for my salvation and happiness found in you. </div><div><br></div><div>"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. " 1 Peter 5:8-11 MSG</div><div><br></div>Living by His grace and mercy daily, <div>Nina</div><div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4gLwnBOmuycdwnr6emZpfdChTcVm5Gz6AQ5PJ89uCW_sQoY7aGX8INMwNoTHJu-RGueRCQR5Wyb9EiZfLv41WaS4P57xbdaiu495JhHRxQONVLxFvKkkieCatmGm04FXNjYn8nBuB5r4/s640/blogger-image-1680843534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4gLwnBOmuycdwnr6emZpfdChTcVm5Gz6AQ5PJ89uCW_sQoY7aGX8INMwNoTHJu-RGueRCQR5Wyb9EiZfLv41WaS4P57xbdaiu495JhHRxQONVLxFvKkkieCatmGm04FXNjYn8nBuB5r4/s640/blogger-image-1680843534.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbxi-bbry2DdHdCUd-fl_ikQuFClgaumal-7gBwyrlL1dKDG-JVhyphenhyphenkyXPNMLtY_hLO7V8kPBbOBOSISJj_WJ5FX3io5UTG9Wan2LnDQBKfh5Z7lYKBT-SUX9HOQBdoQIQcHACGc9PtsoP/s640/blogger-image-287315597.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbxi-bbry2DdHdCUd-fl_ikQuFClgaumal-7gBwyrlL1dKDG-JVhyphenhyphenkyXPNMLtY_hLO7V8kPBbOBOSISJj_WJ5FX3io5UTG9Wan2LnDQBKfh5Z7lYKBT-SUX9HOQBdoQIQcHACGc9PtsoP/s640/blogger-image-287315597.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqVJjishUtYOtQtxfNtLZquTJHhXAgmUgsxifwjz_eM7dCYqpfj9NgViGYRQRii22btuZI-0n136CO-7LmpaZVCPfqkRqPuf-LE67d4-tpUK-4xXwxMfepukdxXb4G0AL-lqx0MaaSts8G/s640/blogger-image-1651404322.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqVJjishUtYOtQtxfNtLZquTJHhXAgmUgsxifwjz_eM7dCYqpfj9NgViGYRQRii22btuZI-0n136CO-7LmpaZVCPfqkRqPuf-LE67d4-tpUK-4xXwxMfepukdxXb4G0AL-lqx0MaaSts8G/s640/blogger-image-1651404322.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOC_y8Rul1yrkT4BGlsp7cH8wsRhIw6FoMRrKvn8zxr8eaKbJfMKNpXMmJEjogKuBPp3-jw7Ywm5TKX2A0OS8MMB2A-3QhQ73Kx_seMOFCKmT9OjkXVCTMZBVbX0IUEK9APXYPjNzVxIov/s640/blogger-image-319535165.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOC_y8Rul1yrkT4BGlsp7cH8wsRhIw6FoMRrKvn8zxr8eaKbJfMKNpXMmJEjogKuBPp3-jw7Ywm5TKX2A0OS8MMB2A-3QhQ73Kx_seMOFCKmT9OjkXVCTMZBVbX0IUEK9APXYPjNzVxIov/s640/blogger-image-319535165.jpg"></a></div></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-61912992807665515342013-12-30T15:05:00.001-08:002013-12-31T09:16:54.208-08:00365 Days of ChangeToday is the 365th day of 2013 and then the ticker will start over again for 2013. The amount of change that can take place in a year is amazing. I think about the difference from when my kids were newborns, to their first birthday. A year can make a big difference. Or the amount of growth in my mairrage since last January. It's just amazing. Relationships change. One day someone you care so much about is in your life, then seemingly the next day they are gone. And the same can be said about someone popping into your life that wasn't there last year and now you can't imagine life without them. <div><br></div><div>365 days can sometime feel like a short span of time. I often look back and ask, where did the year go? Or I think, "I haven't done much this last year, not much has changed." But when I really think about it, I can see the things that have changed and grown. Our family has changed...people have died, friendships have faded, and I've learned a lot more about life. I'm thankful what God has done! </div><div><br></div><div>I'm leaving a lot of sorrows and tears behind in 2013. But also taking some really happy memories with me. Let go of the bad, hold on to the good. </div><div><br></div><div>Happy New Year! 2014!</div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-76071953140417016272013-11-13T17:04:00.000-08:002013-11-14T10:02:55.661-08:00The Language of Love<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Soon after I started dating my husband, his grandma came to visit from Argentina. Abuela America, or abuela Ica as we call her, embraced me from the moment I saw her. With hugs and kisses, and a slew of Spanish that I couldn't understand. Her rolling R's and thick Italian sounding Spanish was mixed with smiles and giggles as she touched my hair and held my hand. Her love was given to me from the moment I met her. She returned to the states a couple years later for our wedding. Again, she embraced me as her own grandchild and lovingly hugged and kissed me, and spoke endless Spanish to me that I couldn't understand! But there was one thing I could understand, this woman loved Jesus. I watched her pray, and worship in church. Her eyes often filled with tears as she went to the Father in fervent prayer. His glory and love was real and very important to her.</span><br>
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On my wedding day she prayed for my womb. She layed her hand on my belly and the rapid Spanish came out of her lips. She prayed for babies, more importantly she prayed for babies that would love Jesus. She loved her children, grand children, and great-grand children so very much. Even before she met my children she adored them. She prayed for their salvation before they were even conceived.<br>
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Her life and love was a true testament to what Gods love is all about. We never had a conversation in the same language. We had the most perfect relationship in my mind. We didn't know about each other's flaws, or personality quirks. We just simply had love for each other. We only knew each other through Gods love. The language that surpasses all understanding. The Love that binds hearts and connects people. The Love that forgives, saves, and conquers death.</div>
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Abuela Ica, </div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Thank you for always showing me Gods love. I may never have fully understood your words, but I understood the language of Heaven that spoke so loudly in your life. Jesus was the most important person in your life. Therefore you had endless love to give everyone around you. I see your love and passion in my daughters and I will never let them forget the legacy you gave them. Although you leave this world with a humble little home, second hand clothes in your closet, and a some pesos in the bank, you have left us with the greatest inheritance of all. Something more valuable than money and jewels. The Love of Jesus Christ. I am honored to be a part of your legacy and promise to never let it go. I am honored to be a part of your family.</span></div>
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We are happy that your body in no longer suffering, and that you are pain free and whole, but we will long to see you again in heaven one day. No doubt you and my grandma Nadine are worshipping at the feet of God together. Thank you for your Love that I always understood and heard so loud and clear. We love you, and miss you dearly.<br>
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We hold on to these photos even tighter today! </div>
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Abuela and I at my wedding, 2006</div>
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Abuela y Pablito </div>
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Abuela Ica and Bella meet for the first time in Argentina, 2008</div>
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Cooking for us in her kitchen that her husband built for her.</div>
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Meeting the twins for the first time, U.S. 2009</div>
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Holding Gabi</div>
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So proud of her nietas!</div>
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Abuelitas 80th birthday celebration, September 2013. </div>
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Pablo and Gus spending precious moments with abuelita. Their final visit with her just last month.<br>
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Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-71512701477182709362013-11-11T11:07:00.001-08:002013-11-11T16:00:17.712-08:00Healing in LayersI am in the tail end of my healing process after my foot ligament repair. I am on week 5 of my 6 week cast and no walking ordeal. It has been a process of patience and healing slowly. This time has left me emotional and reflective on many topics. One of them, healing. The healing processes is interesting, and very layered. And it takes a lot time. Something I have heard for years. Soon after my grandmother died people told me that time will make it better and I heard the same after a breakup with a boyfriend, and it felt like I would never get over it. They would say that time can heal all wounds. Though I know that God can heal, and heal quickly, he also allows us to grieve and walk through the healing process in our own time. We cannot go from hurt to quick healing because there are so many things we learn and need to address along the way. But Jesus helps us through each step. I wish I could be walking right now, but my ligament needs time to heal before it can be used again.<div><br></div><div>This physical healing has been many steps and layers. First was the post-op recovery, just trying to get over the meds and trauma that any surgery comes with. The wound is still bleeding and swollen. And much like any emotional trauma in life, this is the hardest stage. I can think of so many times in my life, or examples in others' lives that this can be related to. A death, a breakup, divorce, or betrayel. The initial shock after these experiences are hard and often leave us sick, crying, and laid up in bed for a while. <div><br></div><div>Then comes the baby steps to recovery. I got my cast on the week after surgery, and was still in so much pain. Any movement or tug was so painful. When the heart has been wounded, it too is sensitive and raw. Any memory or word can inflict pain and tears so easily. So many freedoms we once knew are now lost. For me physically it's walking and getting around on my own. Similarly, after a death or break up we can't hug the person we love so much. We lose the freedom to see them, to talk to them, or tell them how much they mean to us. </div></div><div><br></div><div>I am now getting more comfortable. It's a "proceed with caution" stage. I still have my limitations, but I feel more comfortable to leave the house more often and move around on my scooter and crutches. Like the heart, it's a tender balance between building strength, but still knowing that you aren't fully healed. Pushing it too much would only lead to more pain and discomfort. </div><div><br></div><div>Next week I will finally be free of my cast, but I will recieve a walking boot in its place. Another layer to my healing. Physical therapy will then begin and the healing process will continue. Only time can make my injury better. And only time can help heal the heart.</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>Then<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> there will be a scar. I will have a mark on the foot forever, reminding me of the pain and healing process I had to endure in order to get healthy. Our hearts have scars. And the twinges of pain may never be fully gone. I learned this last night. Ten years after my grandma Nadine's death I learned that the twinge of pain is still there. Of course I miss her daily, but I felt the pain of her loss again last night. My grandfather has sold their house, the house he designed built for his beloved wife Nadine. This was the last place she called home. It was the place where we spent many holidays, family dinners, and visits with her. So saying goodbye to her home was difficult. And some pain crept back in, and the healing process after her death continues, even after all these years. But it was a good time with family, and her closest friends as we shared memories of my grandmother. My Gabriella Nadine even begged for a walk down the coldesac in her neighborhood. Which I learned last night was one of grandmas favorite activities as she got sicker from cancer. So sweet and special that my Gabi, grandmas namesake, wanted to do that activity on our last visit there. Just like grandmas last days there.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ3YaZ5u0BJxNsehmis2j_NUO1fYR9vq_pFVUb-V14ahuThafgZX3R0YaCGqEed7BmjluFqkUwA37docYgwKCeWQIngU1IKPTVsdWGGYhedXhyphenhyphen-BUtE3lZLsgvOzAjoDhpP2uxlCLKgA0-/s640/blogger-image-1577863457.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ3YaZ5u0BJxNsehmis2j_NUO1fYR9vq_pFVUb-V14ahuThafgZX3R0YaCGqEed7BmjluFqkUwA37docYgwKCeWQIngU1IKPTVsdWGGYhedXhyphenhyphen-BUtE3lZLsgvOzAjoDhpP2uxlCLKgA0-/s640/blogger-image-1577863457.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Gods timing is perfect. He knows how to heal and when to heal. His timing, and slow healing in our lives is no mistake. And there is so much hope in the healing process. Hope to one day walk. Hope to be a better more compassionate person after we heal. So then we can one day help others as they go down the road to healing also. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I painted this picture so I could visualize the layers of healing. There are bumpy textures, layers with scales and cracks, barbed wire and locks. The wounded heart heals in layers and time. Something I wish happened quickly, but can sometimes take months, or years. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQv3sIFQ8vOX88m76xBYnk2dEl2T-CtjTKTj2y50pzN60M6nISy1ZPousHohpVgvuCADblwV7NXs9ZgX5jq3oX7CzwT8GdR8F7gzs3t58L2NINUgldwKMEX-FTLPkK0aQbWUs4HHlawMJ/s640/blogger-image--1564785790.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQv3sIFQ8vOX88m76xBYnk2dEl2T-CtjTKTj2y50pzN60M6nISy1ZPousHohpVgvuCADblwV7NXs9ZgX5jq3oX7CzwT8GdR8F7gzs3t58L2NINUgldwKMEX-FTLPkK0aQbWUs4HHlawMJ/s640/blogger-image--1564785790.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. (Psalm 30:2 NIV)</font></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-45735853867361077822013-10-12T16:47:00.001-07:002013-10-14T18:41:30.893-07:00The Bored and the RestlessAs I lay in bed this evening with my leg elevated, I can hear my family in the kitchen. More specifically the father of my children is saying loudly "Open your mouth! OPEN your mouth!", oh dear. I can't go hop up and investigate because my foot is throbbing. I over did it today and got behind on my Advil/Tylenol regimine, and now I am paying for it. <div><br></div><div>I got surgery less than a week ago to repair a torn ligament in my foot. Well, actually the doctor said it was completely severed since my MRI last spring, he couldn't believe I had been walking around in all that pain for so long. This two and a half year injury was actually more bearable than the pain I am going through right now. Although I am in physical pain from my 8 inch insicion, I am in even more pain from not being unable to walk. Unable to help, to take care of my kids, to drive, to cook, clean, bake, shower! Ugh. I must say that I am thankful this is only a 6 week ordeal, rather than having a permant disability. My heart truly goes to those who have to adjust to a new way of life, forever.</div><div><br></div><div>So besides the physical pain, I'm trying to figure out why this is so hard. I should be enjoying this time that I am excused from all house chores and school drop off. But I can't help but scan my surroundings even as I write, and evaluate all the things that I want to get up to do. Hang up that shirt, dust my dresser, straighten my bed, vacuum the cookie crumbs off the floor... I cannot believe how hard this is. I postponed this surgery for two and a half years because I knew it would be difficult, but I really didn't know it would be <i>this </i>difficult.</div><div><br></div><div>And not just me, Why can't we all rest? Why is our society so "GO! GO! GO!" all the time. We are in a hurry to get our kids in preschool from the moment they can walk. We hate to wait in a 5 minute line at the grocery store. Plan numerous vacations. We have to have our kids in ballet, soccer, swimming, and school clubs. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">On the weekends we must visit the zoo, the park, and attend all birthday parties we are invited to. But we can't even take a whole Sunday to rest. Now I am given this 6 week ticket to lay and rest. But instead I am bored and restless. My mind is busier than ever thinking about all the time I am wasting. All the cake orders I have had to turn down, and the warm weather outside that is fleeting. </span></div><div><br></div><div>In the meantime I pray that I can settle in and rest my mind. Focus on writing, drawing, and snuggling my girls. And more importanty spend time with the One person who is truly neglected in my busyness, God. My friend told me a quote she heard once, "All satan needs to do is keep a woman busy. And his work is done". It's so true. The precious time with our families, and with God, is so easily lost with each errand, project, and activity.</div><div><br></div><div>It's a time to rest, and focus on myself, and on God. </div><div><br></div><div>He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 NIV)</div><div><br></div><div>Oh and the commotion from the kitchen? My Lili somehow got a small metal birdcage from my old dollhouse stuck...wait for it....in between her two front teeth! </div><div><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisfD070zadVz0Y8ND_9Ibvp5c3gmZ2HNAEFmJET_3LaJy1Xc-JKUFTfIJSVTcGxDEobe0pyacIH6AYffT-DQsgBzmthO5IP0PccjppGzFMjFKJ1_r-JH0tHUIX4dGTA9X5QVfT27Ee0gau/s640/blogger-image--1955481124.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisfD070zadVz0Y8ND_9Ibvp5c3gmZ2HNAEFmJET_3LaJy1Xc-JKUFTfIJSVTcGxDEobe0pyacIH6AYffT-DQsgBzmthO5IP0PccjppGzFMjFKJ1_r-JH0tHUIX4dGTA9X5QVfT27Ee0gau/s640/blogger-image--1955481124.jpg"></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-84303938791196377972013-07-09T23:38:00.001-07:002013-07-10T09:50:01.722-07:00Dear UsAs we embark on our 7th year of marriage, I can't help but think of all that we have learned on this short (but seemingly long) journey. I was just looking at our engagement and wedding photos and noting our innocent and joyful faces...if only I could tell you what was ahead. If I could, this is what I would tell you....<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Dear Us, </div><div><br></div><div> Marriage is a lot of work. A LOT. So enjoy the honeymoon stage because it doesn't last long. Times will get tough. You will want to bash each others heads in sometimes. And it might be over the trash. But you are not the only people who fight over a sack of garbage. It happens in households all over your neighborhood. So don't let people ever make you feel like they have got it all together in their marriage. Because every couple has their struggles. From socks left on the floor, to miscommunications. So know that this work you will have to do in your relationship is not uncommon. </div><div><br></div><div>You will watch each others bodies change, and not always for the better, then you will wonder what you were really attracted to physically in each other in the first place. But more than likely these physical changes just mean you are happy, well fed, and madly in love. It might even mean your body changed because you had offspring. And these little babes will add to the work, to the frustrations, to the wanting to hit one another. You will be tired, lonely, and ignoring each other because the wee ones will take all your attention and energy. But this is momentary, so embrace each other again after the babies are not so small. </div><div><br></div><div>You will have a love/hate relationship with each others families. It might be hard to love them as your own family sometimes, but this is normal. Just remember neither of you would be who you are if it wasn't for them. </div><div><br></div><div>You will have moments when life without each other might seem easier, but don't let go. The times that seem unbearable will be the times you learn most about each other, and yourselves. You are young and still learning about how you love, and how you communicate best. So be patient. Figure out how to be understating and gracious towards one another. Because you will both screw up. You will say things you deeply regret. </div><div><br></div><div>Forgive, forgive, forgive. </div><div><br></div><div>You might wake up some mornings and think, who is this person? I don't even know you at all! Why did I marry you? </div><div><br></div><div>Although it will be difficult and a lot of work. The love grows. You think you love each other a lot right now on your wedding day? Just wait, it gets richer and deeper as the trials and years pass. As you say "I do" You might think that your love for one another is big now, but it will indeed expand. You will see each others worst, and love anyway. You will argue till you cant even remember why, but you will eventually kiss and make up. Your friendship will mean even more as the years pass. You will be all each other has some days and you will learn to never take one another for granted. </div><div><br></div><div>After 7 years you will wonder how you made it and where the time has gone. And you will be filled with excitement when looking ahead for the next 7 years! </div><div><br></div><div>God is beside you and guiding you through this journey. Look to Him first. </div><div><br></div><div>Good luck us! </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmewLpN_Bz06bmysFCui235kaSI-5gPlg3JJAZn5szvLoNQRmb-9PUbyR0IfHL-htx0JE4rDmthoEDk-HecjN0s2DpaLAqeVmKQ66EqNOf-yBcFFL3bN0e2WIEf6AxLUicnjkY9K01DmwY/s640/blogger-image--627649109.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmewLpN_Bz06bmysFCui235kaSI-5gPlg3JJAZn5szvLoNQRmb-9PUbyR0IfHL-htx0JE4rDmthoEDk-HecjN0s2DpaLAqeVmKQ66EqNOf-yBcFFL3bN0e2WIEf6AxLUicnjkY9K01DmwY/s640/blogger-image--627649109.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">July 16, 2006</div><br></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-80104735354956917802013-05-12T08:16:00.001-07:002013-05-12T08:29:01.884-07:00Happy Moco Mommy's Day!This Mothers Day comes with a little bit of an attitude. I have been huffing and puffing all week because my hubby is out of town this weekend. Most Mothers Days I try to take advantage and let Pablo take care of the girls, the cooking, and the housework. This year he is off on a much needed getaway for his friend who is getting married next week (a nicer way of saying a bachelor party! Haha). With young, single, and childless men planning a weekend away, this particular weekend was no big for them. But for me, it was a little more inconvenient. Not having Pablo here this morning makes Mothers Day just like any other day for me. Which includes an early morning, fetching breakfast, wiping butts, and all that comes with parenting. <div><br></div><div>But this morning. I had an "ah ha" moment. This morning my little Gabi said, "I have the mocos, mommy." Picked her nose. Then said, "Here are my mocos, mommy". If you know what mocos are then you know that I was handed a nice little green slimy gift from the nose....right in my hand. That was it. That's all it took for me to realize how much I love being a mom. How little I care about holding a booger, and how it's second nature to accept one when its handed to me. I'm blessed. So very lucky. Not everyone gets to experience the ups and downs of motherhood. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm blessed times three, with healthy beautiful girls. </div><div><br></div><div>So, the attitude stops here. Mother's Day in itself is the gift. Being able to say Im a mom today is the gift. Although the flowers and cards are nice. The fact that I am a mother is special, even if I don't do anything special today. </div><div><br></div><div>Happy Moco Mommy's Day! I hope you get a booger! It was the best gift ever. </div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGStRCOV1A2vIR3wfZ7Gfl2Gu13eD116bA2IaGnK8haDkHQQXPoF2PLi6pCAsgRxfx7K4PG68xmohKKc2ZjsA0CmteTgdwQm8KM9tBAN-RMNCPXIecZB5JFhWd_BzK820vbkWeC2B8UcLs/s640/blogger-image--1520754270.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGStRCOV1A2vIR3wfZ7Gfl2Gu13eD116bA2IaGnK8haDkHQQXPoF2PLi6pCAsgRxfx7K4PG68xmohKKc2ZjsA0CmteTgdwQm8KM9tBAN-RMNCPXIecZB5JFhWd_BzK820vbkWeC2B8UcLs/s640/blogger-image--1520754270.jpg"></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-25116881823551769722012-12-19T10:00:00.000-08:002012-12-19T10:00:58.397-08:00Always Winter, Never Christmas <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As my fellow Coloradans know, this snow season has been sparse. But in the last week, we have had a few dusting's of snow and finally today a big significant snowfall! Every morning that is has snowed Lili would wake up and say "Its Christmas!!!", and run around! After calming her each time explaining that snow doesn't mean Christmas, tears would ensue, every time! <br />
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As Mr. Tumnus says in <em>The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe</em>, "Its always winter but never Christmas". Narnia was a cold place, a land filled with snow and ice, and lacking the hope and joy that comes with Christmas. Narnians didn't even have that exciting anticipating feeling we all get as we wait for Christmas. It was a hopeless place, filled with hopeless people. <br />
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Our world is much like Narnia at times. Even our lives can be much like Narnia at times. Some days it feels like the wind and blowing snow will never stop. The warmth of spring seems far away. The changes we long for seem so far away. The pregnancy and baby that you want and have been trying to have is yet to happen. The relationship that needs miraculous healing and restoration seems hopeless. The husband you desire, is yet to be found. There are so many things that we anticipate in life that seem like eternity before they come to fruition. <br />
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But be hopeful my friends, Christmas is coming. God has a plan. We don't live in a hopeless cold land because our Savior has come, He has conquered, and He has overcome. After the Sandyhook tragedy last week, a friend said, "the shadow proves the sunshine". Indeed it does. There is evil, and horrible things in this world. But we have the hope and promise of a new day. <br />
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My little Lili only has a few days until her Christmas is here. As for your Christmas, I know that it is coming soon! Have hope! <br />
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"It's always winter but never Christmas<br />It seems this curse just can't be lifted<br />Yet in the midst of all this ice and snow<br />Our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope"<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/GexpztdaN0M">Reliant K- In Like a Lion (Always Winter)</a>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-62086081324294689622012-10-21T14:16:00.001-07:002012-10-23T15:06:13.566-07:00Flesh Fails MeI was sick last week. Yes, the pukey kind. Which is the worst kind. That's what I get for holding and snuggling the girls right after they barf. I can't help it. But every time I am sick there is this one particular friend who always comes through for me. She does happen to live within 5 minutes of me, which helps, but she ALWAYS brings me soup, sprite, whatever. I have faith that she will come through for me . I have many friends that I know I can trust and put faith into for many things in my life.<br />
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Yet, recently I have discovered that my instincts and heart can fail me. People fail me. I found that I too often trust people. I get close and then get disappointed, even badly hurt. This can happen with friends, family, and even my spouse. <br />
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I have recently taken a little too much interest in the political battle. One fight in particular pulls at my heart strings. Those of you who know my love for babies, can guess what issue. But both sides of this election disappoint, and lead us in the wrong direction. Neither are an answer to prayer for our nations gigantic problems, in my opinion. So I'm trying not to put a bunch of faith into a president. Whomever he may be.<br />
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And also a recent story in the news. Jessica Ridgeway. How sad. How so so sad. Humankind failed her, breaks my heart. How can this happen! How can a human being do such a thing?? Making it impossible for any parent to have any comfort and peace. <br />
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A friend of mine has a stepson who is rebelling, bad. Wreaking havoc on his home full of little ones and parents who love him. He doesn't even know the things that he is doing. <br />
<br />
Intentionally or not, people hurt people. People disappoint me. My family will, my friends, and even my dashingly handsome almost perfect husband. <br />
<br />
Bottom line we are all human. We all have faults, we will all disappoint. We all fall short. <br />
<br />
I don't know about you, but everything around me in this world is terrifying. The things people are capable of are shocking. But I have to love people, but put my faith in God, or my heart will be broken every time! Last night I felt as though I was carrying the weight of so many people's problems. Then I read this:<br />
<br />
Jeremiah 17:5-10<br />
This is what the Lord says:<br />
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,<br />
who draws strength from mere flesh<br />
and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. "But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve." <br />
Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-23969407065337826292012-09-20T23:09:00.000-07:002012-09-21T00:04:14.337-07:00The ListIt's 11:50pm and I just sat down for the first time all day. Except for maybe using the potty? I'm not sure if I even did that! I am blogging to unwind and collect my thoughts for the day. I have my lists for the week at my bedside and not much has been crossed off for the day. Yes, more than one list. Its one of those weeks where you have a few of them going. Mine are titled: Kings, Sams, Hobby Lobby, Cakes, Safeway, Bella's bday, and then the miscellaneous one that collects all my other random thoughts and have to's. I am also about to make another list for Pablo, entitled the "Honey Doo Doo list". He doesnt have to attend the 5 year old Barbie party this weekend so he gets to clean the bathrooms for me! Hence the "doo doo" part of the the honey do list! Hee hee. I'm thankful he is always more than willing to do that dirty job. <br />
<br />
After knocking out 3 of my 4 lists for the week by Thursday, I felt somewhat accomplished. I even rewarded myself with some flowers at King Soopers. They had Gladiolus for $1.25 a bunch! Any color you would want. I went ahead with the white, and Bella liked the pink ones too. But I felt like I should grab one more. I walked away and then felt God telling me to still grab another. With 3 long bunches of flowers at home I felt confused but loved looking at them nonetheless. And shoved them in a vase and set them aside for arrangements later. <br />
<br />
I had another sub list to my ongoing miscellaneous list that said "nap time". As you can imagine this was what I had planned to accomplish in the short hour and a half I got to myself while the girls slept. I may have been a little too optimistic in my list for that short time, but hey, worth a shot. <br />
<br />
First on the list, make sugar cookie dough. Got that done, check. After cleaning up the kitchen I walked outside to take out the trash and I ran into my elderly neighbor. We chatted for what seemed like a moment. We talked about her garden, what books she just read, how much she loves Obama and hates Mitt, her medical bills, and then how her grown divorced daughter living with her is having a hard time. Then suddenly her daughter arrived home early from work. Tears in her eyes trying to hold it all back she explained what a bad day she had. Her boss shorted her hours on her paycheck to top it off, and she was emotional. After a long hug she spilled the rest to me with a short conversation. Then I heard a, "hi mommy", Lili found me outside with her blankie in tow. <br />
<br />
After going back inside with Lili, I walked into the kitchen and saw the extra bunch of flowers. Aaaaaaah, clarity. That's what they were for. That's WHO they were for. Once again Gods intentionality blows my mind. <br />
<br />
God had a list for me today. On His list I was supposed to buy flowers, check. Give them to my neighbor, check. And just give the love of Jesus to her today, CHECK. I feel so accomplished when I think of it that way. But when I look back on my list of 5 other unaccomplished tasks from nap time, I feel like I got nothing done. But those are all things that will get done. The flowers were on Gods list for me today.<br />
<br />
I cant help but think how many other things God had on my list today that I may not have done. What other things does He have for me to do tomorrow? Its way more exciting than buying paper towels at the Safeway $5 Friday sale that's for sure! <br />
<br />
God help me to listen to your gentle instruction for my day, help me to accomplish your lists tomorrow and always. Use me to accomplish your tasks! I want to make checks on your list, and to love people like you love them!<br />
<br />Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-71672473210623712542012-09-10T21:54:00.001-07:002012-09-10T22:10:33.403-07:00I Got ThisDo you ever find yourself going through life, doing the day to day, managing the ups and downs, coping with stress the best way you know how? Even on the hard days I handle it and roll with the punches. "I got this, I got this". Until it is just simply too much to bare. The heaviness of life brings me down and guess what, "I don't got this, God!" These moments have been happening a lot lately. From family crises to my little girl fracturing her arm. <br />
<br />
Yes, as you know from my Facebook Lili took a fall from a tree. She likes to run around with her older sister and forgets that she is much younger and smaller. My little go getter started walking at 7 1/2 months, (not joking) and hasn't slowed down much since. She is a talker, singer, dancer, climber and runner. As well as faller. We counted her scrapes, scabs, and bruises while we waited at Urgent care yesterday. There was a good 15. She doesn't do things slowly. If we are walking to the pool, she runs. When we have nap time she sleeps the bare minimum. She is my early bird and short napper. She eats fast, and is opposite of her twin in all of this! But all of these wonderful things have their down falls....literally! <br />
<br />
Lili bird took to climbing this small tree in our back yard just this past week. She didn't go far up, and the tree itself is more of a bush then a tree. But after many talks about her being careful and my reluctance to let her climb, sometimes there just isn't any stopping her! She managed to dangle from a branch and at some point came to that point of "I don't got this, help!" moment. Big sister Bella was there, but at 4 years old, catching her sister did little but break her fall as they both tumbled. <br />
<br />
I can't believe I wasn't there, that I didn't hear her cries for help. I wish I would have had a better eye on her. <br />
<br />
Thankfully God always has an eye on us. So when I have those, "I don't got this" moments, my Dad has "got it" for me. Phew, He always is there for these moments of weakness and need. Now, relying on Him for every moment and every need is something I have to work on. I can't even take the little things on alone because those are one of the main things that break me! <br />
<br />
I got this God, but only with your help! <br />
<br />
Psalm 26:1<br />
God is our refuge and strength,<br />
an ever-present help in trouble.<br />
<br />
<br />
"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcjTT5hHBeBVRZfIxG5RZZOZAQEMcb6kA-Fj6_pMN1Emjaaw0RS4FATWxbQo6FABuGcY8kjc_eugDIYjVC6Tx3UyhjfXLGj7nyOx3mEqc14yGo65Vu5NMwIve2zYZ1fVTkyJeoB7z3mGNq/s640/blogger-image--1412793009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcjTT5hHBeBVRZfIxG5RZZOZAQEMcb6kA-Fj6_pMN1Emjaaw0RS4FATWxbQo6FABuGcY8kjc_eugDIYjVC6Tx3UyhjfXLGj7nyOx3mEqc14yGo65Vu5NMwIve2zYZ1fVTkyJeoB7z3mGNq/s640/blogger-image--1412793009.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_wUsz6h5wI-VBPBLnEZQWZkuRvF0IGL4A8yOddkkLD_G4rVUjlImYeEvJ0XGS63CDOImCKynGSMYewkJWgmdVDzDJcW3-bGwBhbAyzII5TxCODTNpXufdxLFpgJ4WfviJmJEMNNTemnDZ/s640/blogger-image-1931735705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_wUsz6h5wI-VBPBLnEZQWZkuRvF0IGL4A8yOddkkLD_G4rVUjlImYeEvJ0XGS63CDOImCKynGSMYewkJWgmdVDzDJcW3-bGwBhbAyzII5TxCODTNpXufdxLFpgJ4WfviJmJEMNNTemnDZ/s640/blogger-image-1931735705.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXpp1ecp5_DBd8qJE08IOQ8AYslapuh6Hf18iFvIuv_sN5sFc7vX_gpCWvSC7pXu-1An9EeGzJwolxTqGjTOqDKoavPemSERw8Fw34iB2PvEWcya0D3e7yGAF30fFHB1hFqI7oxxBNh8zS/s640/blogger-image-1650579549.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXpp1ecp5_DBd8qJE08IOQ8AYslapuh6Hf18iFvIuv_sN5sFc7vX_gpCWvSC7pXu-1An9EeGzJwolxTqGjTOqDKoavPemSERw8Fw34iB2PvEWcya0D3e7yGAF30fFHB1hFqI7oxxBNh8zS/s640/blogger-image-1650579549.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGUNxV4zBrlJ5vOBYE_nJu7Iy-vwu3_ySpse65rCaPvMaAWqMDcZEoCGiypjuBgtsWD0ElmvwaLAkTPDCzvaZvTAg0L5uTPLIu5dmBAJ_4ITdPfzLFgcd6Ugxe6p1AWS6bjvOieh_bU81f/s640/blogger-image--1672642250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGUNxV4zBrlJ5vOBYE_nJu7Iy-vwu3_ySpse65rCaPvMaAWqMDcZEoCGiypjuBgtsWD0ElmvwaLAkTPDCzvaZvTAg0L5uTPLIu5dmBAJ_4ITdPfzLFgcd6Ugxe6p1AWS6bjvOieh_bU81f/s640/blogger-image--1672642250.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaWzuhmvnamot84tfInDYxO8e6H7R9gGXNna4fhdbpnfKP7XeiOQk3MRmupFM6Nv5bBIe34F_VleP-iJMpp465zBxYxu6r4aodMAx0tb5IWSgC8bXBvHRT0kRkQPnErf4J34fN5n1Fz9KA/s640/blogger-image-918816320.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaWzuhmvnamot84tfInDYxO8e6H7R9gGXNna4fhdbpnfKP7XeiOQk3MRmupFM6Nv5bBIe34F_VleP-iJMpp465zBxYxu6r4aodMAx0tb5IWSgC8bXBvHRT0kRkQPnErf4J34fN5n1Fz9KA/s640/blogger-image-918816320.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-34357778905980875442012-09-04T19:28:00.001-07:002012-09-04T23:27:22.125-07:00The End of a SeasonI just returned from a long walk at dusk. When the sun is setting and the clouds are all tinted shades of pink and purple. The dark outline of the mountains are contrasted against the glowing blue sky. This is my favorite time of day. Everyone is settling into their homes for an evening with their families. But as I left mine during bath time (great husband I have to take over nightly duties), I have a heaviness in my heart. Although this is my favorite time of day to enjoy Gods glory, I have a pang in my heart tonight. You see, the end of the summer is here. <br />
<br />
Although fall equinox is not till the 22nd, we always seem to look ahead to the next season. Hence, Starbucks already serving their pumpkin spice latte today! But as I walked tonight, I passed our pool and the pool in the neighborhood next to ours. Both eerily vacant with still waters. The sun is sitting at a different angle, and even due to our record dry season, the trees are yellowing and leaves starting to fall. It seems everything and everyone around me is already over this season and onto the next season. Except me.<br />
<br />
I'm not always good with change. Especially when it takes away from my hopes and dreams. For example, I always have big plans for the summertime. Lots of evening walks, pool days, and adventures....although we had many of these, the busyness of life seems to outweigh these. Every time summer ends I mourn. I don't look forward to the dead dry ugly plants. The squishy wet moldy leaves, blah. I hate the color orange. I despise Halloween, and all the ugly evil things that go along with it. <br />
<br />
Even though I go through this every year, this year is worse than most. Probably because a season in my life is also about to end. This change in season outside is a mirror of what's going on in my heart. And what's going on in our family. We strongly feel that God is going to take us somewhere soon. Maybe it's a move? Who knows. But all of the signs from God are pointing to change. Have I mentioned I don't like change? <br />
<br />
So as everyone else looks ahead to the next season. I am not ready. Im staying in this season until the next one is officially here. I'm not quite in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte, or a move. But hopefully I will be soon.<br />
<br />
Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-84563471253614841372012-08-21T23:14:00.001-07:002012-08-23T23:18:28.777-07:00Picking Up the PiecesIt's been a tough week. I've been watching my sweet little guy Max, and my dad went into the hospital for a hip replacement, ouch. I think I have said this fifty times in my blog, but I am a worrier. I worry about it all. Worry is my cryptonite. It often leaves me defenseless and without any superhero powers. Dang it. I really need those. But regardless I have been as strong as I can through this difficult time for my family members. Feeling as though I need to help clean up and pick up this mess someone else has left.<br />
<br />
My dad has been in the hospital for 3 days and my sweet mom stopped in to make me lunch Tuesday. She would, she takes good care of me! Her entrance was similar to a busy little tornado off to her next stop. On her frantic way in and out to get to the hospital she dropped her glass container...blam! Shattered. All over the floor. From chunks of glass to small itty bitty tiny flakes. It spread to all corners of the kitchen. She, of course, swept it up and I followed with the vacuum. Isnt that the worst? When suddenly it slips out of your hand, you find yourself in slow mo saying "Noooooooo" in the slow mo voice, of course. <br />
<br />
But what if she had left? What if my mom dropped this glass and left wanting, no, expecting me to pick up the pieces?<br />
<br />
I feel as though someone came into my life dropped a glass and left for me to clean it all up. I have to quickly pick up the pieces before someone gets hurt. I have to be strong and careful as to not get cut.<br />
<br />
Help me to be strong God. But also help me to let you clean up the mess. Along with being a worrier, I'm a fixer. So as I sit up at 12:04 am worrying about the mess, I am also trying to fix the mess. Bottom line, I can't. People are gonna get hurt, weather it is a small wound, or a deep wound from a sharp piece. There is nothing I can do but pray that God takes care of me an the precious ones involved. <br />
<br />
Help me let go God, help me to let you what you do best..and mend the broken. <br />
<br />
Isaiah 147:3 <br />
He heals the brokenhearted<br />
and binds up their wounds.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrdNkRB0CEYMTu1Q1_JS_QPUk7dHE260wnmdEyovwauEZim3FspB9fnmsI76EYd-8nqQv4hXMrPPfHb7CoJx3FKeQklmmESJqbip34S3cZPVFVkyRwZrRMUmOt5g0jP-DCtORKu6It7dHO/s640/blogger-image--758570316.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrdNkRB0CEYMTu1Q1_JS_QPUk7dHE260wnmdEyovwauEZim3FspB9fnmsI76EYd-8nqQv4hXMrPPfHb7CoJx3FKeQklmmESJqbip34S3cZPVFVkyRwZrRMUmOt5g0jP-DCtORKu6It7dHO/s640/blogger-image--758570316.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-12012817662244495652012-08-16T20:07:00.001-07:002012-08-16T20:09:32.456-07:00The light In the darknessAs I sit on the back patio listening to the distant siren, I can hear a cricket in the garden and my children discuss which book to read for bedtime as they scurry inside... I have peace. I have a kitchen full of dishes and a floor that desperately needs cleaning I looked for a bit of serenity. My children were running around with their lanterns tonight and as I looked on I found it. My girls were the only thing I could make out in the dark. It's getting darker earlier...boo! <br />
<br />
But after a whirlwind of a few weeks, with a range of emotions...sadness, anger, regret, depression....I feel as though I am I'm the eye of my storm. It's calm for now, but I fear that soon the rest of the chaos will soon come and thrash me around a bit. Yet, for the moment I have peace and I see the light in the darkness.<br />
<br />
God has never promised an easy life, but He did promise to always be there. I'm so thankful for that. As my children ran inside, they left their lanterns on the table in front of me. They were gone, but their lights remain. Although People or situations are dark, I have to leave a light shining bright. An impression of light if you will. I pray every night that my children would "shine with the love of Jesus all the days of their lives". Even at their young age, my little lights leave a little glimmer of hope in everyone's life they meet. Not because of who they are, (I mean they are no doubt the cutest), but because they have the love of Jesus. They stop people dead in their tracks, daily. Love shines from them lights beacons in the dark. It's truly mind boggling sometimes. <br />
<br />
May my light also be powered by the One and only true source of light and love. Help me to shine in the darkness God, to make it through the next storm.<br />
<br />
"so that you may become blameless and pure, children ofin a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:15 (one of my favorites)<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-YXHSLXfQvy6yCaJOfor1BA7_9OPBisjUODa40qTzev7IUBlXqFKvD9SHs9chyphenhyphenQ45RtlzN7HApVL9_oZ1a5WQlnuacHGg-KBodemlhR-m_bokNI1QNGSxvvxiMkXRGEfwTAD1Xrbl1jl_/s640/blogger-image--345722186.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-YXHSLXfQvy6yCaJOfor1BA7_9OPBisjUODa40qTzev7IUBlXqFKvD9SHs9chyphenhyphenQ45RtlzN7HApVL9_oZ1a5WQlnuacHGg-KBodemlhR-m_bokNI1QNGSxvvxiMkXRGEfwTAD1Xrbl1jl_/s640/blogger-image--345722186.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-12147663916176172432012-08-12T23:02:00.001-07:002012-08-12T23:23:53.006-07:00Mind The GapMind the Gap, no not the Gap that sells overpriced yet extremely adorable kids clothes. But rather the gap that exists between the platform and the train. The place you jump over to get onto the subway. Know what I'm talking about? The London Olympics have inspired this analogy! I am going to have a lot more time on my hands now that it is over! <br />
<br />
Now, I don't live close to the London Underground, or even take the light rail that is yards from my house. I'm all for the comfort of my own car, personally. We drove to California last month, instead of flying, because who can afford to buy 5 airplane tickets, right? Well, some people can...we can't, ha! The plus to driving to the coast was that we got to pack the crap out of our car. This was an adventure we needed to take. In a very odd season of our lives we took a risk and went! much needed family time! But on the way home from our amazing trip I had that feeling. You know that feeling when you feel like something is wrong? Or you forgot something? I didn't leave a kid in California...so what was it? I blew it off to just being sad about leaving our vacation. <br />
<br />
But after a day or two home I still had that pang in my stomach like I was about to hear bad news, or like I was gonna fall. After talking to my BBFF she encouraged me to pray about it and that maybe God was preparing my heart for something. <br />
<br />
Sure enough, soon after that we had a big something happen to the family. <br />
<br />
There it was, the gap. <br />
<br />
I was de-railed. And to be honest, weeks after this event, I am still derailed. People close to me are going through difficult times. I am sitting in that gap between that solid steady ground, and the train that is about to embark onto the next destination. But in that gap I feel God slowly pulling me out, and the more I look upward the closer I am to getting on the train to move on. And I can't wait for that next stop...I don't want to miss it. <br />
<br />
So the next time you get that feeling, mind the gap. Beware of that small dark tiny place you could fall into. God might be preparing you for a fall. Other times we get to hop over those tough moments, by Gods grace alone, and head over to the next stop. But other times He allows us to be in the difficult situations so we can look up at Him to be our strength. <br />
<br />
So listen to the Holy Spirit, and mind the gap! <div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI6Sv3oyk6pCknW8MKC2OmtNgRRfEPA-GskIj1vWxz_Ry-KUEgcDmlELpbb-fBbPDa_4xYGrCcdqP16PUd8YLDnEpOUz1bUHFJ-bjO1KNiQ0-wnPf-bAfbGygiWXpjztgOzfT6Q1W_HhET/s640/blogger-image--45059295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI6Sv3oyk6pCknW8MKC2OmtNgRRfEPA-GskIj1vWxz_Ry-KUEgcDmlELpbb-fBbPDa_4xYGrCcdqP16PUd8YLDnEpOUz1bUHFJ-bjO1KNiQ0-wnPf-bAfbGygiWXpjztgOzfT6Q1W_HhET/s640/blogger-image--45059295.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-28037998022318657332012-07-14T00:12:00.001-07:002012-07-14T00:12:30.317-07:003, 6, 9, 12Okay, I'm not OCD, but I hate odd numbers. They bug me. I make a point to put an even number of ice cubes in my glass! I don't like uneven things. I'm all for symmetrical things. In fact, my favorite number has always been 8. Its not only even but it also looks nice and even. Symmetrical! Love it. I always told Pablo I wanted 4 kids, and here we are with 3! Guess I have to have another! Jk. But with 3 children I have to buy uneven things. 3 shirts, 3 bows, 3 dolls. And I am always looking at packages of food, juice boxes, stickers, etc, to make sure it comes with enough for them each to have one. 3, 6, 9, 12. I just packed juice boxes for our trip to California. They come 10 a box dang it. Yes, we are off on an adventure! I will blog on that later!<br />
<br />
I was sitting in bed the other night with these numbers bouncing around in my head, preventing me from sleep. Some even, some odd. I finally made some order of it, and realized the importance these play in my life right now.<br />
<br />
3! My babies are 3!!! Cannot emphasize enough how sad this makes me! But also how much I love my little three year olds. They indeed have changed my life since the moment they were first in my womb! I am sad because the last three years have been a whirlwind. A crazy blur of diapers, hugs, cries and kisses. Three is a fun age and I'm so in love with my beautiful THREE year olds!!! <br />
<br />
6! This Monday Pablo and I will be celebrating our 6th year of marriage! Another one of those, "how?" milestones! How did we get from the giggly, kissey, young newlyweds to the early to bed, stressed, and barely even date married veterans? It has been such an amazing journey! But I must say I am glad to be out of our 5th year and onto the next year! This year has been one of the hardest years of marriage yet! You would think that the year our twins were born would have been? Nope. It was year 5! Who would have thought. But here we are, into year six! Stronger than ever and very much respecting couples who make it to 50 years and beyond! Props. Happy sixth anniversary babe!!!!!!<br />
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9! I met my hubby nine years ago, during a time in my life that I was searching, looking, longing. I was coming out of a very wild time in my life. I was looking for God again, realizing He had never left. Even when I has turned from Him, he stood with me the entire time. Nine years ago I decided I was done running from Jesus and wanted to run towards Him. All the drugs, alcohol, and men couldn't fill the void I had. I returned to what I knew as a child. My first love. I believe God also gave me Pablo at the same time to walk along beside me as I put my relationship with Christ back together. <br />
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12! Twelve years since I graduated high school! Um, what?? Yes. I am that old. After turning 30 this year and now embarking on my 12th year out of high school, I feel ancient. But I could not be happier with the twelve years of growing, learning, and becoming who I am today. Here's to being an even happier person twelve years from now!<br />
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I will just leave you with this cute little number pic that I can't get enough of! My three cupcakes! My three baby girls :)<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLLoSmaxs7P7PvSFvqmP-THwhg_fcbhed3Yx1GayVrIPmn-sDoPLe0HODhfaOu2qAGD4FDjow1Baj7FbK1yxA5sZGCWF8VjdPu_dSxQ8tW-RnnG2RN2it-AxPpkfM2nNFSwnZdQ9DTiH3C/s640/blogger-image-1426194387.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLLoSmaxs7P7PvSFvqmP-THwhg_fcbhed3Yx1GayVrIPmn-sDoPLe0HODhfaOu2qAGD4FDjow1Baj7FbK1yxA5sZGCWF8VjdPu_dSxQ8tW-RnnG2RN2it-AxPpkfM2nNFSwnZdQ9DTiH3C/s640/blogger-image-1426194387.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-59676488413485790572012-06-12T23:05:00.001-07:002012-06-12T23:10:42.651-07:00My heart longs for you!It's been waaay too long since my last post! The last couple months have been filled with cakes, graduation parties and the pool! YES, the pool is finally open :) We are pool rats. <br />
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LateIy, I find myself longing. As a mom I am happy to simply pee alone, let alone have any time alone. I have nothing to complain about, I have healthy kids, a fantastic husband, and a roof over my head. Yet, I still get stuck. Stuck in a cloudiness that consumes me. I seem to feel unfulfilled and empty. Regardless of what I try to fill it with.. My kids don't fill the void, nor my husband, money, success, food, friends, family, new clothes, the tv. It's like the cheesy saying goes, there is a God shaped hole in my heart. Well, my soul longs for the One who can fill me. When I remember that He is the One and Only who can complete me, things start to make sense. <br />
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Have you ever missed someone so much it hurts? Whether they be dead or living on earth? I have felt both this week. My grandfather is getting ready to sell his home. The place that he built for my grandmother. Cancer took her 9 years ago. It still seems like yesterday. I can remember her laugh and the way her hands look. I longed for her at her old home Sunday when we went for dinner. She is truely missed, still. I am comforted that she believed Jesus was her savior and has an amazingly grand home in heaven now! BUT, I still miss her.<br />
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I also am missin my new baby nephew Benaiah Thomas! Oh my heart longs to hold and see him! My brother and his wife live in Kansas so we are working on a visit. But until then, I am anxiously anticipating kissing his sweet cheeks! <br />
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The longing for my heavenly Father is daily, even hourly. If only I would recognize that in the moment when I feel empty. My emptiness is indeed longing for my Savior. Seek Him, He is there. He never leaves. <br />
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Oh Kim Walker's voice gets me every time. Check it:<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR6y4DtmmSQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player<br />
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And here in the new little bundle!!<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsK071eZ4W-YUDSfk5Pz_7IZgTq6hDtkpBnnmlOGGOJdZhLRDfJtxI1yeIrRBM08Tk2s2cn51YoUN4UVlaDY7L4G1ZbUYFEwkjVp0jDmKMYe648D6w_z9Dl290HvC4NDCfuz2twKKNEx1U/s640/blogger-image-834185879.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsK071eZ4W-YUDSfk5Pz_7IZgTq6hDtkpBnnmlOGGOJdZhLRDfJtxI1yeIrRBM08Tk2s2cn51YoUN4UVlaDY7L4G1ZbUYFEwkjVp0jDmKMYe648D6w_z9Dl290HvC4NDCfuz2twKKNEx1U/s640/blogger-image-834185879.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0VN2kmmZZi0KNqz-jOI6pcuruk4lujw78F3K8E8wXFuuSaNbmyztVUJ_4gsLBMoE-pH4gBydpCinpxwYk3n4usBP4GDWuLNDR4PRfMgkxMgChLFEE2CpXI0x_BDVphYokLFXRrI88WYP2/s640/blogger-image-534747020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0VN2kmmZZi0KNqz-jOI6pcuruk4lujw78F3K8E8wXFuuSaNbmyztVUJ_4gsLBMoE-pH4gBydpCinpxwYk3n4usBP4GDWuLNDR4PRfMgkxMgChLFEE2CpXI0x_BDVphYokLFXRrI88WYP2/s640/blogger-image-534747020.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-35372744090357805792012-04-16T20:48:00.000-07:002012-04-16T20:48:40.092-07:00FireIt's been some time since my last blog! In the last month I have been busy baking cakes and raising my girls! That leaves little time for much else! Ha. The last few weeks have been somewhat dramatic for various reasons. Feeling like there are fires all around me. Fires in people's lives, relationships, etc. Fires in my life, with finances, with my husband, and relatives. I don't know why I am always so surprised when such events happen. I know that life will never be easy, yet when the fires and difficult things happen, it still jars me a bit!<br />
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Last month we had a horrible forest fire here in Colorado. Although it was caused by a controlled burn gone wrong, these fires are not uncommon to our area. Three people died and many houses lost. Our dry region is always susceptible to fire. In fact, wild fires are an essential part of the forest ecosystems. Fires actually helps make things grow back better and stronger because it gets rid of the dead things and releases new organic matter. It causes rebirth in the land. <br />
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Similar to natural fires, our life fires cause rebirth and growth. In the end all of the yucky stuff that was there is now gone and turned into ashes. Regardless of how they started. I have to say some fires are started by me, by my mistakes, or my big mouth. Other fires are completely out my my control, and all I can do is endure through the flames. It reminds me of these verse:<br />
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1 Peter 1:7<br />
Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. <br />
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I am trying to keep the faith. I am enduring the flames.Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175409941852645051.post-15603767843174338022012-03-06T22:06:00.001-08:002012-03-06T22:11:18.827-08:00SeasonsWe get all four seasons here in Colorado. Which I am thankful for! Mostly...but it's this "winter thaw" that gets me. I enjoy Colorado winters, unlike my Argentina born husband. Who is currently grumbling at the snow forecast tomorrow! He would move us to Florida if I would let him! <br />
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It's almost spring. And I can hardly wait for summer! We have had a lot of snow. I've had my snow fix...now on to warmer weather now! This change is season seems to be mirroring so many things in my life. I am in a new place spiritually and physically. I am at a place where I can see some thawing but it's still cold. Spring is an "in between" season. Not cold. Not hot. Things are peeking through the ground...but no real changes can be seen yet. Just the beginning signs of change. <br />
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I hope whatever season you are in is peaceful. I pray that if you are stuck in the dead cold of winter that some thawing happens soon. Whether its in your marriage, finances, spiritual life, etc. <br />
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"There is a time for everything,<br />
and a season for every activity under the heavens" (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)<br />
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"He changes the seasons and guides history, He raises up kings and also brings them down, he provides both intelligence and discernment" (Daniel 2:21 MSG)<br />
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<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbjDgXrz-DkYg2hd2DkYJnNcqAqmN4sb4ZxDKE1nhJjuWddS2XtR8VAeGUrjkndVL2XgSY8326LxGeqoJBQghaOw3Ev_Em-gWiPmQRiY4Z6wZGgyOpei_EuNNKf9CyJHfm83BksAStZvx4/s640/blogger-image-735478416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbjDgXrz-DkYg2hd2DkYJnNcqAqmN4sb4ZxDKE1nhJjuWddS2XtR8VAeGUrjkndVL2XgSY8326LxGeqoJBQghaOw3Ev_Em-gWiPmQRiY4Z6wZGgyOpei_EuNNKf9CyJHfm83BksAStZvx4/s640/blogger-image-735478416.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix66BoKwZTyQGGp3_BN3hvzshFhX7rwrXKSfUcqNxVbZ5Wuk0ZJCUInFQ4xAg7pHIQS4CiZk69aD8MRp53hj5kGN6q0LxjP-y7uwWSA3xUK4osnGpk0M1Uhw2Yt13HstfFtuqc8Bf53OUc/s640/blogger-image-897116100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix66BoKwZTyQGGp3_BN3hvzshFhX7rwrXKSfUcqNxVbZ5Wuk0ZJCUInFQ4xAg7pHIQS4CiZk69aD8MRp53hj5kGN6q0LxjP-y7uwWSA3xUK4osnGpk0M1Uhw2Yt13HstfFtuqc8Bf53OUc/s640/blogger-image-897116100.jpg" /></a></div>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04057782793306496247noreply@blogger.com1