Dear Us

As we embark on our 7th year of marriage, I can't help but think of all that we have learned on this short (but seemingly long) journey. I was just looking at our engagement and wedding photos and noting our innocent and joyful faces...if only I could tell you what was ahead. If I could, this is what I would tell you....

Dear Us, 

    Marriage is a lot of work. A LOT. So enjoy the honeymoon stage because it doesn't last long. Times will get tough. You will want to bash each others heads in sometimes. And it might be over the trash. But you are not the only people who fight over a sack of garbage. It happens in households all over your neighborhood. So don't let people ever make you feel like they have got it all together in their marriage. Because every couple has their struggles. From socks left on the floor, to miscommunications. So know that this work you will have to do in your relationship is not uncommon. 

You will watch each others bodies change, and not always for the better, then you will wonder what you were really attracted to physically in each other in the first place. But more than likely these physical changes just mean you are happy, well fed, and madly in love. It might even mean your body changed because you had offspring. And these little babes will add to the work, to the frustrations, to the wanting to hit one another. You will be tired, lonely, and ignoring each other because the wee ones will take all your attention and energy. But this is momentary, so embrace each other again after the babies are not so small. 

You will have a love/hate relationship with each others families. It might be hard to love them as your own family sometimes, but this is normal. Just remember neither of you would be who you are if it wasn't for them. 

You will have moments when life without each other might seem easier, but don't let go. The times that seem unbearable will be the times you learn most about each other, and yourselves. You are young and still learning about how you love, and how you communicate best. So be patient. Figure out how to be understating and gracious towards one another. Because you will both screw up. You will say things you deeply regret. 

Forgive, forgive, forgive. 

You might wake up some mornings and think, who is this person? I don't even know you at all! Why did I marry you? 

Although it will be difficult and a lot of work. The love grows. You think you love each other a lot right now on your wedding day? Just wait, it gets richer and deeper as the trials and years pass. As you say "I do"  You might think that your love for one another is big now, but it will indeed expand. You will see each others worst, and love anyway. You will argue till you cant even remember why, but you will eventually kiss and make up. Your friendship will mean even more as the years pass. You will be all each other has some days and you will learn to never take one another for granted. 

After 7 years you will wonder how you made it and where the time has gone. And you will be filled with excitement when looking ahead for the next 7 years! 

God is beside you and guiding you through this journey. Look to Him first. 

Good luck us! 

July 16, 2006