It's 11:50pm and I just sat down for the first time all day. Except for maybe using the potty? I'm not sure if I even did that! I am blogging to unwind and collect my thoughts for the day. I have my lists for the week at my bedside and not much has been crossed off for the day. Yes, more than one list. Its one of those weeks where you have a few of them going. Mine are titled: Kings, Sams, Hobby Lobby, Cakes, Safeway, Bella's bday, and then the miscellaneous one that collects all my other random thoughts and have to's. I am also about to make another list for Pablo, entitled the "Honey Doo Doo list". He doesnt have to attend the 5 year old Barbie party this weekend so he gets to clean the bathrooms for me! Hence the "doo doo" part of the the honey do list! Hee hee. I'm thankful he is always more than willing to do that dirty job.
After knocking out 3 of my 4 lists for the week by Thursday, I felt somewhat accomplished. I even rewarded myself with some flowers at King Soopers. They had Gladiolus for $1.25 a bunch! Any color you would want. I went ahead with the white, and Bella liked the pink ones too. But I felt like I should grab one more. I walked away and then felt God telling me to still grab another. With 3 long bunches of flowers at home I felt confused but loved looking at them nonetheless. And shoved them in a vase and set them aside for arrangements later.
I had another sub list to my ongoing miscellaneous list that said "nap time". As you can imagine this was what I had planned to accomplish in the short hour and a half I got to myself while the girls slept. I may have been a little too optimistic in my list for that short time, but hey, worth a shot.
First on the list, make sugar cookie dough. Got that done, check. After cleaning up the kitchen I walked outside to take out the trash and I ran into my elderly neighbor. We chatted for what seemed like a moment. We talked about her garden, what books she just read, how much she loves Obama and hates Mitt, her medical bills, and then how her grown divorced daughter living with her is having a hard time. Then suddenly her daughter arrived home early from work. Tears in her eyes trying to hold it all back she explained what a bad day she had. Her boss shorted her hours on her paycheck to top it off, and she was emotional. After a long hug she spilled the rest to me with a short conversation. Then I heard a, "hi mommy", Lili found me outside with her blankie in tow.
After going back inside with Lili, I walked into the kitchen and saw the extra bunch of flowers. Aaaaaaah, clarity. That's what they were for. That's WHO they were for. Once again Gods intentionality blows my mind.
God had a list for me today. On His list I was supposed to buy flowers, check. Give them to my neighbor, check. And just give the love of Jesus to her today, CHECK. I feel so accomplished when I think of it that way. But when I look back on my list of 5 other unaccomplished tasks from nap time, I feel like I got nothing done. But those are all things that will get done. The flowers were on Gods list for me today.
I cant help but think how many other things God had on my list today that I may not have done. What other things does He have for me to do tomorrow? Its way more exciting than buying paper towels at the Safeway $5 Friday sale that's for sure!
God help me to listen to your gentle instruction for my day, help me to accomplish your lists tomorrow and always. Use me to accomplish your tasks! I want to make checks on your list, and to love people like you love them!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
I Got This
Do you ever find yourself going through life, doing the day to day, managing the ups and downs, coping with stress the best way you know how? Even on the hard days I handle it and roll with the punches. "I got this, I got this". Until it is just simply too much to bare. The heaviness of life brings me down and guess what, "I don't got this, God!" These moments have been happening a lot lately. From family crises to my little girl fracturing her arm.
Yes, as you know from my Facebook Lili took a fall from a tree. She likes to run around with her older sister and forgets that she is much younger and smaller. My little go getter started walking at 7 1/2 months, (not joking) and hasn't slowed down much since. She is a talker, singer, dancer, climber and runner. As well as faller. We counted her scrapes, scabs, and bruises while we waited at Urgent care yesterday. There was a good 15. She doesn't do things slowly. If we are walking to the pool, she runs. When we have nap time she sleeps the bare minimum. She is my early bird and short napper. She eats fast, and is opposite of her twin in all of this! But all of these wonderful things have their down falls....literally!
Lili bird took to climbing this small tree in our back yard just this past week. She didn't go far up, and the tree itself is more of a bush then a tree. But after many talks about her being careful and my reluctance to let her climb, sometimes there just isn't any stopping her! She managed to dangle from a branch and at some point came to that point of "I don't got this, help!" moment. Big sister Bella was there, but at 4 years old, catching her sister did little but break her fall as they both tumbled.
I can't believe I wasn't there, that I didn't hear her cries for help. I wish I would have had a better eye on her.
Thankfully God always has an eye on us. So when I have those, "I don't got this" moments, my Dad has "got it" for me. Phew, He always is there for these moments of weakness and need. Now, relying on Him for every moment and every need is something I have to work on. I can't even take the little things on alone because those are one of the main things that break me!
I got this God, but only with your help!
Psalm 26:1
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."
Yes, as you know from my Facebook Lili took a fall from a tree. She likes to run around with her older sister and forgets that she is much younger and smaller. My little go getter started walking at 7 1/2 months, (not joking) and hasn't slowed down much since. She is a talker, singer, dancer, climber and runner. As well as faller. We counted her scrapes, scabs, and bruises while we waited at Urgent care yesterday. There was a good 15. She doesn't do things slowly. If we are walking to the pool, she runs. When we have nap time she sleeps the bare minimum. She is my early bird and short napper. She eats fast, and is opposite of her twin in all of this! But all of these wonderful things have their down falls....literally!
Lili bird took to climbing this small tree in our back yard just this past week. She didn't go far up, and the tree itself is more of a bush then a tree. But after many talks about her being careful and my reluctance to let her climb, sometimes there just isn't any stopping her! She managed to dangle from a branch and at some point came to that point of "I don't got this, help!" moment. Big sister Bella was there, but at 4 years old, catching her sister did little but break her fall as they both tumbled.
I can't believe I wasn't there, that I didn't hear her cries for help. I wish I would have had a better eye on her.
Thankfully God always has an eye on us. So when I have those, "I don't got this" moments, my Dad has "got it" for me. Phew, He always is there for these moments of weakness and need. Now, relying on Him for every moment and every need is something I have to work on. I can't even take the little things on alone because those are one of the main things that break me!
I got this God, but only with your help!
Psalm 26:1
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
The End of a Season
I just returned from a long walk at dusk. When the sun is setting and the clouds are all tinted shades of pink and purple. The dark outline of the mountains are contrasted against the glowing blue sky. This is my favorite time of day. Everyone is settling into their homes for an evening with their families. But as I left mine during bath time (great husband I have to take over nightly duties), I have a heaviness in my heart. Although this is my favorite time of day to enjoy Gods glory, I have a pang in my heart tonight. You see, the end of the summer is here.
Although fall equinox is not till the 22nd, we always seem to look ahead to the next season. Hence, Starbucks already serving their pumpkin spice latte today! But as I walked tonight, I passed our pool and the pool in the neighborhood next to ours. Both eerily vacant with still waters. The sun is sitting at a different angle, and even due to our record dry season, the trees are yellowing and leaves starting to fall. It seems everything and everyone around me is already over this season and onto the next season. Except me.
I'm not always good with change. Especially when it takes away from my hopes and dreams. For example, I always have big plans for the summertime. Lots of evening walks, pool days, and adventures....although we had many of these, the busyness of life seems to outweigh these. Every time summer ends I mourn. I don't look forward to the dead dry ugly plants. The squishy wet moldy leaves, blah. I hate the color orange. I despise Halloween, and all the ugly evil things that go along with it.
Even though I go through this every year, this year is worse than most. Probably because a season in my life is also about to end. This change in season outside is a mirror of what's going on in my heart. And what's going on in our family. We strongly feel that God is going to take us somewhere soon. Maybe it's a move? Who knows. But all of the signs from God are pointing to change. Have I mentioned I don't like change?
So as everyone else looks ahead to the next season. I am not ready. Im staying in this season until the next one is officially here. I'm not quite in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte, or a move. But hopefully I will be soon.
Although fall equinox is not till the 22nd, we always seem to look ahead to the next season. Hence, Starbucks already serving their pumpkin spice latte today! But as I walked tonight, I passed our pool and the pool in the neighborhood next to ours. Both eerily vacant with still waters. The sun is sitting at a different angle, and even due to our record dry season, the trees are yellowing and leaves starting to fall. It seems everything and everyone around me is already over this season and onto the next season. Except me.
I'm not always good with change. Especially when it takes away from my hopes and dreams. For example, I always have big plans for the summertime. Lots of evening walks, pool days, and adventures....although we had many of these, the busyness of life seems to outweigh these. Every time summer ends I mourn. I don't look forward to the dead dry ugly plants. The squishy wet moldy leaves, blah. I hate the color orange. I despise Halloween, and all the ugly evil things that go along with it.
Even though I go through this every year, this year is worse than most. Probably because a season in my life is also about to end. This change in season outside is a mirror of what's going on in my heart. And what's going on in our family. We strongly feel that God is going to take us somewhere soon. Maybe it's a move? Who knows. But all of the signs from God are pointing to change. Have I mentioned I don't like change?
So as everyone else looks ahead to the next season. I am not ready. Im staying in this season until the next one is officially here. I'm not quite in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte, or a move. But hopefully I will be soon.
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