This week has been a hell of a week. School started for Isabella, full days, a first for us all. Our condo went on the market, 12+ showings in less than 24 hours. The cleaning, and leaving. Then cleaning again.... and then leaving, again. Oh, and there is the realtor letting herself in as I step out of the shower. Yep. Plus a notice to get out by October 1st by our landlord. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if the renting AND buying market wasn't a disaster. $1700 for a two bed one bath? $2200 for a 3 bed 2 bath? Ummmmm WHAT!? Am I the only one looking around saying....WTH?!?! Everyone is just digging deaper in their pocket and mine seems to have a hole. Well that's a whole different blog entry, which I might get to next year at this rate!
But the blood, oh man. After Gabi toppled out of the car attempting to sit in her booster seat, blood. Lots of squirting dripping bright red blood. As I looked for the source all kinds of things ran through my head. All of the left field "what ifs" a mom's brain can entertain. But after a long visit to the ER, observation, a little staple, and lots of tears, we are home. It could have been a lot worse. A head first fall from 3-4 feet could have rendered a real serious injury, hence my crazy "what if" thoughts. But it was also the thought "is this really happening AGAIN?" All of our girls have had an emergency fix up of some kind. Myself included. Our medical debt can testify so.
I have a hard time not feeling guilty when I am frustrated with life. When I feel bombarded by sickness in our home (the entire last month), I have to tell myself, at least its not a long term illness. And our housing situation...it could be worse, I'm glad we aren't homeless? Or a glance at our empty bank account, well, my husband could be unemployed? But the relentless shots at our family have been just that, relentless.
But I've learned that your problems are your problems. They still hurt. No matter the size. I often feel bad for feeling bad. If that makes any sense. But we each have our own cross to bear. I am thankful that God has chosen me to deal with these things rather than heavier ones. And we can't discount what others are feeling and going through because their hurts seem "smaller" than ours.
I hope your August has been more peaceful than mine! And that your hurts are short lived and eased by the Comforter Himself. Because Jesus carried the biggest burden of us all and paid us up in full. We can find true Joy and Peace in Him alone as we walk through our trials. For that I am SO thankful....it could be worse...what if I didn't know the Savior that carries me through? That would be worse.
I lay my heavy heart at your feet Jesus. Thank you for my salvation and happiness found in you.
"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. " 1 Peter 5:8-11 MSG
Nina
