What Does Your Heart Carry? ❤️

Today the girls pulled out some Christmas movies, in September!! I haven't even gotten used to the approaching Fall season yet, let alone Christmas! Stupid Fall.  Anyway, they picked The Grinch. I overheard the girls talking while they watched and Lili says, "THAT'S his heart?!", in shock of how small it was. Bella answered "yep". Followed by Gabi's informational, "Yea, the heart carries the love."  After melting from the cuteness of Gabi's statement I began to think. So cute and so true....What else does the heart carry? What does my heart carry? 

This led me to look deep into my heart. I would like to think it only has love in it. Love for my girls, my husband, and God, etc. But what am I harboring in my heart that is making it Grinch like? Then this ugly word came jumping out at me, Jealousy. I've never thought of myself as a jealous person. I truly am genually happy for people when they succeed. When they get well deserved gifts and accomplishments. But as of late, I seem to covet those successes and blessings. I want them! My heart asks, "Why do I have to coupon and budget at the store every week and then hold my breath to see what my total is?" "How come my neighbor has a nice new car when mine looks like there is a bullet hole on the side and that I could deal drugs from out the window?" AND "why does SHE have a husband that makes so much money?" Then my most common heart question, "Why do they get to have a yard and a beautiful home and we don't??" Things. I'm coveting and jealous over THINGS. Ew. What a horrible and ugly thing for my heart to carry! God tells us "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Luke12:34) I often want things to be my treasures. But it shouldn't be. I should not let the wants of my mind take over my heart. 

What does your heart carry today? Hate, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, or jealousy? Sadness, selfishness, or pride? 💔

The Bible says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23) I need to keep the uglys out of my heart. Guard it from the jealousy. So these things I hold will not seep into every aspect of my life. I want grace, mercy, love, and gentleness to overflow from the heart and get into everything else I do. 

 

Last night we attended a wedding of a couple from our church. The maid of honor gave a lovely speech. This one piece of advice she gave the couple really stuck out, "Love Jesus first every morning before you attempt to love anyone else". Simple and true. When I love Jesus I find it SO much easier to love the people who mistreat me. To love my kids when they annoy me. And to love my husband better when he walks in the door after a long day of work. 

Our hearts are in need of a Savior. We all fill our hearts with things that don't belong. Thank you God for sending your son Jesus. The Redeemer of all short comings and sins. It's exhausting trying to keep up with the Jones'. Trying to carry it all myself, it's too much. Jesus has filled in my gaps, replaced my emptyness and fear. What. A. Relief. 

Listen carefully, watch this video http://youtu.be/p7as4NRCpKs

Now go and Google "bible verses heart", Do it. ❤️ 

It Could Have Been Worse.

Opening up Blogger to see I haven't made one post this year. Not one wittle blog. But who has the time these days? Clearly not I. This week leaves me on the couch, breathing in the rainy air from the open patio door, and enjoying my musky smelling Paris candle burning next to me...having just washed bright red blood out of Gabi's precious white cardigan sweater. 

This week has been a hell of a week. School started for Isabella, full days, a first for us all. Our condo went on the market, 12+ showings in less than 24 hours. The cleaning, and leaving. Then cleaning again.... and then leaving, again. Oh, and there is the realtor letting herself in as I step out of the shower. Yep. Plus a notice to get out by October 1st by our landlord. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if the renting AND buying market wasn't a disaster. $1700 for a two bed one bath? $2200 for a 3 bed 2 bath? Ummmmm WHAT!? Am I the only one looking around saying....WTH?!?! Everyone is just digging deaper in their pocket and mine seems to have a hole. Well that's a whole different blog entry, which I might get to next year at this rate!

But the blood, oh man. After Gabi toppled out of the car attempting to sit in her booster seat, blood. Lots of squirting dripping bright red blood. As I looked for the source all kinds of things ran through my head. All of the left field "what ifs" a mom's brain can entertain. But after a long visit to the ER, observation, a little staple, and lots of tears, we are home. It could have been a lot worse. A head first fall from 3-4 feet could  have rendered a real serious injury, hence my crazy "what if" thoughts. But it was also the thought "is this really happening AGAIN?" All of our girls have had an emergency fix up of some kind. Myself included. Our medical debt can testify so.

I have a hard time not feeling guilty when I am frustrated with life. When I feel bombarded by sickness in our home (the entire last month), I have to tell myself, at least its not a long term illness. And our housing situation...it could be worse, I'm glad we aren't homeless? Or a glance at our empty bank account, well, my husband could be unemployed? But the relentless shots at our family have been just that, relentless. 

But I've learned that your problems are your problems. They still hurt. No matter the size. I often feel bad for feeling bad. If that makes any sense. But we each have our own cross to bear. I am thankful that God has chosen me to deal with these things rather than heavier ones. And we can't discount what others are feeling and going through because their hurts seem "smaller" than ours. 

I hope your August has been more peaceful than mine! And that your hurts are short lived and eased by the Comforter Himself. Because Jesus carried the biggest burden of us all and paid us up in full. We can find true Joy and Peace in Him alone as we walk through our trials. For that I am SO thankful....it could be worse...what if I didn't know the Savior that carries me through? That would be worse.

I lay my heavy heart at your feet Jesus. Thank you for my salvation and happiness found in you. 

"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. " 1 Peter 5:8-11 MSG

Living by His grace and mercy daily, 

Nina