Four Years of Labor

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday! My Isabella is 4 today and I am so happy and sad all at the same time! Today I also find myself in labor...so to speak. As a first time mom four years ago I think that I underestimated the things that motherhood would bring to my life. For example today I am laboring, or struggling with what to do about Bella and her school. Well, more like her teacher. From the first "meet the teacher" night I have not had a great feeling about her. For a preschool teacher she is cold, and very regimented. At first, Bella had a very hard time in the morning when it was time to go to school. She would cry and not want to go. I wrote it off as a transition period, but it doesn't seem to be getting much better. After talking with the head of the school, she reassured me that things would get better with time, and that Bella's teacher was very good academically. Now after having a "goal setting" conference with her teacher, it seems Bella is not where she should be with her alphabet and numbers. Yikes. I did not realize how cut throat this who school thing was.

Anyway I could go on....but my point is that with children the labor never ends. I will be laboring the rest of my life for my sweet girls, and gladly too. I will fight and labor for my kids not matter what. They are worth all the pain in the world!

Guess who else feels that way about His children!? You got it, your Father in heaven does. Its just amazing to me, His love and grace for me is even greater than what I feel for my kids!

Thank you God for enduring all the pain and suffering of the world, because you love us! 1 Cor. 15:58

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

I will just leave you with a few photos that pull on my heart strings today!

Happy Birthday Isabella Brooke!!!

Long time, no blog

Hello! I'mmm baaaack! SO its almost fall and I haven't not really kept up with the blog much. Mostly due to the new biz, and then my fully potty trained clan! Extra time has been spent at the pool! So sad its closed :( I have also been dealing with transition of Bella going to preschool! It's been hard for both of us, and I am still praying about if I should just be doing that stuff with her at home. I just honestly don't know if I have the time for it...but we will see. She loves school after, but going to school is the problem, its hard to leave her! We just love being together :)


Also, I have not been blogging much because I have felt somewhat uninspired. I usually have blog posts pop into my head throughout the day, but I just haven't lately. So I am trying to listen to God a little more, slow down and feel inspired! 

xo,

Your Love

I havent blogged in so long! Its been busy, and stressful. But its the small moments with God that have gotten me through. Wanted to share these lyrics...

I felt it first when I was younger
A strange connection to the light
I tried to satisfy the hunger
I never got it right
I never got it right

So I climbed a mountain and l built an altar
Looked out as far as I could see
And everyday I’m getting older
I’m running outta dreams
I’m running outta dreams

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You know the effort I have given
And you know exactly what it cost
And though my innocence was taken
Not everything is lost
Not everything is lost nooooo

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You’re the hope in the morning
You’re the light when the night is falling
You’re the song when my heart is singing
it’s Your love
You’re the eyes to the blind man
You’re the feet to the lame man walking
You’re the sound of the people singing
It’s Your love

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

But Your love
(Your love is all that I needed)
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
(Your love is all that I needed)
It’s Your love
Your love
It’s all I ever needed   

Brandon Heath, Your Love

A Mother's Love

I just came off a crazy busy week, the twins turned 2, numerous cake orders, birthday party (my BBFF's birthday party and the twins) Plus Pablo worked Sunday. Its always hard when he has to put in an extra day on the weekend. But it pays off later, literally :)

We started potty training Lili and Gabi yesterday. It's the end of day #2 and I feel like they still don't get it! By this time with Bella she was sitting down and doing it all by herself! If I could pay someone to potty train the twins...I would, but whatever I would pay wouldn't be enough! Its been a hard couple days. I am giving it one more day and then re-evaluating! (Maybe just one at a time, a different method, etc.)

But all of this training got me thinking. How much does a mother love her child? There are all those cute little poems that say things like "a mothers love is unconditional" or "mothers are there to wipe your tears, and help you learn right from wrong". All of these things true, I cant help but to be more practical. I have said it before that all of the mushy mom devotionals are just blah to me. Same with those mother poems and sappy Hallmark cards. "Thanks for always being there mom, blah blah blah". Where is the card that says, "thanks for cleaning up my crap and teaching me to use the toilet mom!" Haha! But really, think about it...a mothers love is so much more than just being there through all of the hard times and teaching us our manners. Mothers love us SO much they will literally wipe our butts and clean up our poo! Here are some things I was thinking before writing this. I drew from women's lives around me who are loving their kids in such passionate and real ways that no poem or card could ever capture...I hope you can relate to one of these...they are all real, they are written about you!

A mother loves her child so much that she will continue to get pregnant and miscarry numerous times and endure the heart break over and over just to have a successful pregnancy.

A mother loves so much she will scrub poop off of the patio on her hands and knees while she potty trains! (yep, that was me today!)

A mother loves her baby so much that she will loose sleep and become delirious from sleep deprivation just to continue night feedings and comfort midnight teething screams.

A mother loves her step kids so much that she will take them as her own and love and care for them because their real mother no longer wants them.

A mother loves her kids so much she will scrub other peoples toilets just to pay the bills and put food on the table.

A mother loves her children so much she will give up buying herself a new bra and underwear just to be able to buy them clothes and shoes.

A mother loves so much she will stay up late washing dishes, doing laundry and cleaning house while her children sleep just so that she will have time to play with her kids the next day.

A mother loves her kids so much she is will clean up vomit just so her baby is clean.

A mother will fight for her daughters life, even if that daughter is a murderer.

Mothers, you are amazing! Now, of course I have to bring it all back to God now :) God loves us with that same passion you love your kids. He is just as devoted to us, just as in love, but even more. Take the time to soak some of that love and attention up. As moms we often feel under appreciated and very alone. Especially when our husbands get to go to work! But I would not trade places, not for a minute! Even at my worst, even at my most tired, I am so thankful that I have my 3 little loves.

Thank you God for this role, as hard as it may be, thank you for letting me love and care for my kids.

Injustice

Injustice drives me crazy. If someone takes my parking spot, I feel like "How unfair? How can people get away with being so rude"? More serious injustices like someone treating my family wrong also hurt my heart. Or people taking the side of an ex boyfriend that hit me and abused me. How can people NOT see what is so clear to me??? These people need to be brought to some sort of justice, right? This is something I have long struggled with, and still do at times.

As I watch the news and hear of the not guilty verdict for Casey Anthony, how can you not be all worked up? How can you not be steaming mad that what seems to be a HUGE injustice for this small child. No one is serving life in a jail cell for this baby's death, no one will be put to death, no one will be labeled the killer of Caylee. It stinks, it sickens me. BUT I have to let this and the injustices served to so many go, and give it to God. The Bible is clear that one day we will all be standing before God and answering to Him. Although I do think Casey should be serving for the murder of her child, I have to know that its not my place to judge her. I will never know what happened with all of that. But God knows. When God meets Casey one day justice will be served. Not today, not tomorrow, but some day. Just like all of my sins will be judges as well.

Bottom line, we will have to answer to God for our actions. So whether or not I think that justice is served in my life I hold out hope that my Daddy has my back, He will fight for me, and give the justice that I cannot. We feel so helpless. But with faith in God there is always justice.

"Now let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Judge carefully, for with the LORD our God there is no injustice..." 2Ch 19:7 Peace my friends,

It's in Storage

Have you ever had to put all of your belongings in storage? I have. It is awful. I have had to twice while living with family. My sister just did, my parents have, and my sister in law has her stuff in one right now. I admire all the missionaries that sell everything and go to foreign countries with nothing. It was hard for me to have my things in a box, unable for me to enjoy. It taught me a lot. It taught me the simple life, a life with less things. I can live without it all, I don't like to but I can! But even harder for me lately is that I feel as though I am putting a lot more in storage than my things. I have dreams for me and my family that I push out of my mind and put into "storage". Because the thoughts and dreams have not completely left my mind, I don't toss them out completely, but rather just put in the big orange storage compartment of my brain.

I think that I am very blessed woman, with a loving husband and 3 healthy girls. But I have these times of asking God why is the day to day stuff so difficult? It feels like I am in the deep end, with my head just above the water, not submerged, but almost. If I were to get hit with any little wave I would inhale some water.

So until I can get all of my hopes and dreams out of storage, (btw that's where I keep my pre-baby body as well, in storage :) I will just lock it all up and keep on swimming!

Moving furniture

My mom used to always rearrange our rooms, the living room, her room, you name it. She is good with spaces. I used to wonder why she would move things. I get it now, well at least for me it makes a room look new, fresh, and different. Plus it changes a traffic pattern so the stains on the carpet can be covered! :) I feel like I need to move some furniture around but then I realize that the room is still the same room no matter how you move things around!
Two nights ago I got a call for a last minute cake order. Yay! I plugged in my Kitchen Aid and baked. It was late evening and the babies (I cant use this phrase much longer) we already in bed. There was a lightening storm rolling in and my eldest babe sat on the covered back patio with her stuffed elephant and milk and watched the storm. She is my daughter for sure. A rain lover, just like her mommy and her Mormor.  She asked Pablo why the thunder was so loud, to which he told her God was moving His furniture around. She said "Oh, He is getting our new house ready, I prayed for one last night with mommy!".
THREE nights ago we were also sitting on the back patio when Bella asked if we could get a new house that had an upstairs. I told her I would love to get one but at this point only Jesus could give us one! So she prayed and asked God for a house with an upstairs, and a backyard. Oh my heart! She then looked at me and said, "I prayed to God who lives in the sky, and on the moon...." I smiled at her wisdom but then she said "...on the moon, with Santa Claus and all the presents." Doh! Well almost little one, but not quite! I think I need to re-teach her a few things! haha.

SO, I write this in hopes that God is preparing me a very special place in heaven. If I don't ever have my own house here on earth, I hope I have a huge one in heaven!!! In the meantime, Bella and I will keep asking for one here on the earth!

Praying God fulfills the desires of your heart!


Psalm 20:4
May He grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.