Thankful Tree

I have a tendency to be negative. I always look at the glass half empty, and usually lose a lot of sleep stressing about things. I also find myself always looking at what we don't have.  We don't have a house, we don't have a garage, we don't have really nice clothes, we don't have a nice camera, so on and so on. Its sad the list I could make! But I and not all bad, all the time! I do have my moments of pure gratitude with Jesus. The other day I was putting away free food we got from a friend. Thanking God for free ground beef! But overall I have to admit I am always looking at the downside, when in reality, I am so so so so very blessed. I have healthy happy children...well most of the time! We currently have been overrun by boogers and coughs! We always have a full pantry, a warm home, and many many other luxuries that most of the world does not have. In fact my husband who is a native of Argentina likes to point out how very blessed we are! He laughs at how many toys our girls have! He is a very good check and balance for me when I fall into the typical American material mindset!

So I am making a Thankful Tree! An idea I found on Pinterest. Thank you Nichole for yet another time wasting activity! :) I am listing as many things as I can to put on my tree! Although I can have a bad case of "stinkin thinkin", in my heart of hearts I am so very thankful for what God has given me and my family. Here is my tree! The girls had fun helping me too.

Some things Bella wrote she was thankful for: Her pillow, Monkey Bizness

(a playplace), and drums :)

Some things I was thankful for:

Mormor, my husband, my girls, the dishwasher, my washer and dryer, my Ktichen Aid, and my bed!

Col 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful

Emotional Hoarding

Hoard:

1: to lay up a hoard of

2: to keep (as one's thoughts) to oneself

I have recently discovered my child is a hoarder. No, she is not not stock piling old clothes, crafts, or even chickens. Rather, I found a pile of toys on her top bunk, and under her sisters bed. My older sister was here the other day and was trying to give Isabella a pep talk about sharing with her sisters (she was crying about having to share her Barbies), and explaining how a certain little sister used to take her toys! Us little sisters are such a pain :) Anyway, I have noticed her hiding toys in her bed, but yesterday the pile was out of control. I found two Barbie dolls, three Polly pockets, Buzz, Woody, two Jessie's, Dora, Boots, Rapunzel, among a bunch of other random small trinkets. Its funny how random crap is a treasure for her. Plus, I found old broken leaves and rocks in her "jooly" box (jewelry box). She calls them her special things. I started to think about why she would keep these things. But its simple, to her these have meaning. To me they are trash.

Have you seen the people on TLC living in mounds of stuff? I know they are crazy, I know they have serious issues. It makes me so sad, I cant watch. Usually at one time or another they lost everything (most of the time a loved one died), so now they hold on to EVERYTHING. Literally every wrapper has meaning. Although I don't hoard things, well I may hold on to things I shouldn't!  I am not a hoarder with material objects, but I think there are times I can hoard my feelings. Because of past hurts from relationships I often push a feeling or emotion back. With the intention of sharing the emotion later with my husband. I don't always do it intentionally. I usually have intentions of going back and opening up.

  For my daughter, a pretty leaf is her own perfect little treasure that she can tuck away for a later time. What she doesn't realize is that the leaf dies, falls apart and is even more meaningless than before. Much like our hidden emotions it rots, falls apart, and dies. Therein the same problem or issue still exists, and is not resolved. I am an out spoken person, but often emotionally hoard to avoid conflict in my marriage. So I am making a point to tell my husband when something bothers me, or hurts me.

Dazed and Confused

So its been a while, I know. My mother keeps telling me, "oh that's funny, you should go blog!" But I haven't been in the mood for some reason. Or up to par. For the last 2 weeks I have been suffering from dizzy spells, extreme exhaustion, headaches, and a hard time breathing. I went online to one of those medical sites. According to my symptoms I could of had, Vertigo, Diabetes, Anemia, among a list of other diagnosis. Well after 2 weeks I finally went to get checked. Turns out I have an upper respiratory infection. The sinus cavities above my eyes are filling with gunk. Awesome. My brain is infected. It explains a lot really. It explains why when I would bend over to pick up toys i felt like someone kicked me in the head. Or why I would wake up feeling like I slept with a vice on my head. I just feel so dooped! I mean, I had no boogers, no runny nose, no other "cold" symptoms. I honestly at one point thought I was pregnant. Yikes. No, no I am not!

After taking meds for the last few days I feel as though I have been lifted from the fog. I can function as a normal person again. I honestly felt so dazed and confused.

This month we were able to go on a vacation to Las Vegas, for free. Because my husband kicks butt at his job. And we were also able to go to Steamboat Springs for a week with our favorite family and organization (1 Liquid House).  It was breathtaking. 

Hopefully I am back into the groove and blogging again. Here are a few pics of my lovelies, that just make me smile, courtesy of Nichelle Tesone :)

Four Years of Labor

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday! My Isabella is 4 today and I am so happy and sad all at the same time! Today I also find myself in labor...so to speak. As a first time mom four years ago I think that I underestimated the things that motherhood would bring to my life. For example today I am laboring, or struggling with what to do about Bella and her school. Well, more like her teacher. From the first "meet the teacher" night I have not had a great feeling about her. For a preschool teacher she is cold, and very regimented. At first, Bella had a very hard time in the morning when it was time to go to school. She would cry and not want to go. I wrote it off as a transition period, but it doesn't seem to be getting much better. After talking with the head of the school, she reassured me that things would get better with time, and that Bella's teacher was very good academically. Now after having a "goal setting" conference with her teacher, it seems Bella is not where she should be with her alphabet and numbers. Yikes. I did not realize how cut throat this who school thing was.

Anyway I could go on....but my point is that with children the labor never ends. I will be laboring the rest of my life for my sweet girls, and gladly too. I will fight and labor for my kids not matter what. They are worth all the pain in the world!

Guess who else feels that way about His children!? You got it, your Father in heaven does. Its just amazing to me, His love and grace for me is even greater than what I feel for my kids!

Thank you God for enduring all the pain and suffering of the world, because you love us! 1 Cor. 15:58

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

I will just leave you with a few photos that pull on my heart strings today!

Happy Birthday Isabella Brooke!!!

Long time, no blog

Hello! I'mmm baaaack! SO its almost fall and I haven't not really kept up with the blog much. Mostly due to the new biz, and then my fully potty trained clan! Extra time has been spent at the pool! So sad its closed :( I have also been dealing with transition of Bella going to preschool! It's been hard for both of us, and I am still praying about if I should just be doing that stuff with her at home. I just honestly don't know if I have the time for it...but we will see. She loves school after, but going to school is the problem, its hard to leave her! We just love being together :)


Also, I have not been blogging much because I have felt somewhat uninspired. I usually have blog posts pop into my head throughout the day, but I just haven't lately. So I am trying to listen to God a little more, slow down and feel inspired! 

xo,

Your Love

I havent blogged in so long! Its been busy, and stressful. But its the small moments with God that have gotten me through. Wanted to share these lyrics...

I felt it first when I was younger
A strange connection to the light
I tried to satisfy the hunger
I never got it right
I never got it right

So I climbed a mountain and l built an altar
Looked out as far as I could see
And everyday I’m getting older
I’m running outta dreams
I’m running outta dreams

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You know the effort I have given
And you know exactly what it cost
And though my innocence was taken
Not everything is lost
Not everything is lost nooooo

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You’re the hope in the morning
You’re the light when the night is falling
You’re the song when my heart is singing
it’s Your love
You’re the eyes to the blind man
You’re the feet to the lame man walking
You’re the sound of the people singing
It’s Your love

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

But Your love
(Your love is all that I needed)
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
(Your love is all that I needed)
It’s Your love
Your love
It’s all I ever needed   

Brandon Heath, Your Love

A Mother's Love

I just came off a crazy busy week, the twins turned 2, numerous cake orders, birthday party (my BBFF's birthday party and the twins) Plus Pablo worked Sunday. Its always hard when he has to put in an extra day on the weekend. But it pays off later, literally :)

We started potty training Lili and Gabi yesterday. It's the end of day #2 and I feel like they still don't get it! By this time with Bella she was sitting down and doing it all by herself! If I could pay someone to potty train the twins...I would, but whatever I would pay wouldn't be enough! Its been a hard couple days. I am giving it one more day and then re-evaluating! (Maybe just one at a time, a different method, etc.)

But all of this training got me thinking. How much does a mother love her child? There are all those cute little poems that say things like "a mothers love is unconditional" or "mothers are there to wipe your tears, and help you learn right from wrong". All of these things true, I cant help but to be more practical. I have said it before that all of the mushy mom devotionals are just blah to me. Same with those mother poems and sappy Hallmark cards. "Thanks for always being there mom, blah blah blah". Where is the card that says, "thanks for cleaning up my crap and teaching me to use the toilet mom!" Haha! But really, think about it...a mothers love is so much more than just being there through all of the hard times and teaching us our manners. Mothers love us SO much they will literally wipe our butts and clean up our poo! Here are some things I was thinking before writing this. I drew from women's lives around me who are loving their kids in such passionate and real ways that no poem or card could ever capture...I hope you can relate to one of these...they are all real, they are written about you!

A mother loves her child so much that she will continue to get pregnant and miscarry numerous times and endure the heart break over and over just to have a successful pregnancy.

A mother loves so much she will scrub poop off of the patio on her hands and knees while she potty trains! (yep, that was me today!)

A mother loves her baby so much that she will loose sleep and become delirious from sleep deprivation just to continue night feedings and comfort midnight teething screams.

A mother loves her step kids so much that she will take them as her own and love and care for them because their real mother no longer wants them.

A mother loves her kids so much she will scrub other peoples toilets just to pay the bills and put food on the table.

A mother loves her children so much she will give up buying herself a new bra and underwear just to be able to buy them clothes and shoes.

A mother loves so much she will stay up late washing dishes, doing laundry and cleaning house while her children sleep just so that she will have time to play with her kids the next day.

A mother loves her kids so much she is will clean up vomit just so her baby is clean.

A mother will fight for her daughters life, even if that daughter is a murderer.

Mothers, you are amazing! Now, of course I have to bring it all back to God now :) God loves us with that same passion you love your kids. He is just as devoted to us, just as in love, but even more. Take the time to soak some of that love and attention up. As moms we often feel under appreciated and very alone. Especially when our husbands get to go to work! But I would not trade places, not for a minute! Even at my worst, even at my most tired, I am so thankful that I have my 3 little loves.

Thank you God for this role, as hard as it may be, thank you for letting me love and care for my kids.