My Grown Up Christmas List

This is a heavy post. I know that Christmas is supposed to be a light hearted, fun and cheery time. For me it is, thankfully. I am so very blessed to not have any major sadness in my life. Although the negative balance in my bank account for the last 2 days seemed tragic for a moment...its so not. I have a healthy and happy family that I am very, VERY thankful for this year! My neighbor informed me last week that she has no one to celebrate Christmas with. She is feeling so very lonely with her kids and grand kids who are all living out of state. My sorority sister is missing her mother who died of cancer years ago, but misses her like crazy. My sister knows someone who has a husband dying of cancer. He has a 2 year old daughter.

This time of year can be the most wonderful time of the year for some, and for others the worst. Those of us so blessed and comfortable in life, we can so easily forget how blessed we really are.

I can remember as a child my mom would put on Christmas music from Thanksgiving to Christmas. I now do the same, by the way! But one song in particular brings a flood of memories. And not good ones. My parents went through some tough times and separations when I was younger. My mom used to play Amy Grant's Christmas album and when the song  Grown Up Christmas List  would come on she would talk about hers. One year I think she even wrote out a grown up list. The pain she was feeling was so apparent, and clearly the holidays was salt on her wound. The unhappiness she felt was amplified by Christmas.  Here is a version I can listen to Grown Up Christmas List -Michael Buble. The Amy Grant version brings up too many memories for me.

In my life the hurt, loneliness, and pain is drowned out by the birth of Christ.The  Love, Grace, and Mercy Jesus gives me drowns all of this heavy stuff out. I feel the need to apologize if at anytime a Christian has treated you with judgement, hate, or hostility. It may have been me. It may have been someone you loved dearly. But that is not Jesus.  He heals all, Loves all, Forgives all.

Merry Christmas, may it be full of JESUS!

Warranty

My children have a little portable DVD player that we got as a gift from a friend for Bella when she was 2. When the twins were born I would often put on a movie for her while I was breast feeding, or we would use it in the car for long trips to visit family in Greeley. I have since replaced this 3 times. The first time the screen went out, the second time for the eject button malfunctioning. Now our third again has a faulty screen. Granted this DVD player is lower end (rhymes with Shmilps), and it is often operated by little 4 year old fingers,but this thing just keeps going out! I went to exchange yet another one (to a place that rhymes with Shmall-Shmart) and they said that it was past the return date. I began to explain that I have had this problem twice before and have been given a replacement with no problems before. Apparently, they now have a database that will pull up your purchase date and only a 60 day period is for returns or exchanges. This is a great system...for criminals and people taking advantage of the system! But my latest replacement was mid summer. I do not think this is how long a DVD player should last, eh? Am I wrong? So after she told me she couldn't return it, she asked if I had bought a warranty. I had not bought one so she sent me on my way.

war·ran·ty

A written guarantee, issued to the purchaser of an article by its manufacturer, promising to repair or replace it if necessary within a... (in contract law) A promise that something in furtherance of the contract is guaranteed by one of the contractors, esp. the seller's...

Warranty's are so dumb! Here, let me charge you an extra $20 to insure my product does what it is suppose to. Yea, that makes a lot of sense. What happened to just guaranteeing your product will work like it supposed to regardless of a warranty. I mean if you want to get all extreme, I understand that a big purchase like a car can only be guaranteed to work for a certain amount of time. Great, but a $60 DVD player, REALLY?  It just seems silly to me.

I, of course, began to parallel this to life. People now have to buy warranty's on marriage (pre-nups) to ensure the marriage to even ensure it ends that way its supposed to! When we get married (in other words, make the purchase) don't we already guarantee love and faithfulness? When we become Christians, don't we already guarantee love and forgiveness to others? I have been shown otherwise this year. I am not perfect and I mess up everyday. But it seems that people have forgotten what they promised upon the sale.

I refuse to pay extra for a product that should function as its supposed to anyway. Just like I refuse to accept that people are supposed to act as they wish no matter the cost it has on their relationships. Family is family regardless if you were married into it, or born into it. Defend the weak, help the poor. All things I don't need to buy a warranty for. I just need to do it, and work properly. I hope you do the same.

Thankful Tree

I have a tendency to be negative. I always look at the glass half empty, and usually lose a lot of sleep stressing about things. I also find myself always looking at what we don't have.  We don't have a house, we don't have a garage, we don't have really nice clothes, we don't have a nice camera, so on and so on. Its sad the list I could make! But I and not all bad, all the time! I do have my moments of pure gratitude with Jesus. The other day I was putting away free food we got from a friend. Thanking God for free ground beef! But overall I have to admit I am always looking at the downside, when in reality, I am so so so so very blessed. I have healthy happy children...well most of the time! We currently have been overrun by boogers and coughs! We always have a full pantry, a warm home, and many many other luxuries that most of the world does not have. In fact my husband who is a native of Argentina likes to point out how very blessed we are! He laughs at how many toys our girls have! He is a very good check and balance for me when I fall into the typical American material mindset!

So I am making a Thankful Tree! An idea I found on Pinterest. Thank you Nichole for yet another time wasting activity! :) I am listing as many things as I can to put on my tree! Although I can have a bad case of "stinkin thinkin", in my heart of hearts I am so very thankful for what God has given me and my family. Here is my tree! The girls had fun helping me too.

Some things Bella wrote she was thankful for: Her pillow, Monkey Bizness

(a playplace), and drums :)

Some things I was thankful for:

Mormor, my husband, my girls, the dishwasher, my washer and dryer, my Ktichen Aid, and my bed!

Col 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful

Emotional Hoarding

Hoard:

1: to lay up a hoard of

2: to keep (as one's thoughts) to oneself

I have recently discovered my child is a hoarder. No, she is not not stock piling old clothes, crafts, or even chickens. Rather, I found a pile of toys on her top bunk, and under her sisters bed. My older sister was here the other day and was trying to give Isabella a pep talk about sharing with her sisters (she was crying about having to share her Barbies), and explaining how a certain little sister used to take her toys! Us little sisters are such a pain :) Anyway, I have noticed her hiding toys in her bed, but yesterday the pile was out of control. I found two Barbie dolls, three Polly pockets, Buzz, Woody, two Jessie's, Dora, Boots, Rapunzel, among a bunch of other random small trinkets. Its funny how random crap is a treasure for her. Plus, I found old broken leaves and rocks in her "jooly" box (jewelry box). She calls them her special things. I started to think about why she would keep these things. But its simple, to her these have meaning. To me they are trash.

Have you seen the people on TLC living in mounds of stuff? I know they are crazy, I know they have serious issues. It makes me so sad, I cant watch. Usually at one time or another they lost everything (most of the time a loved one died), so now they hold on to EVERYTHING. Literally every wrapper has meaning. Although I don't hoard things, well I may hold on to things I shouldn't!  I am not a hoarder with material objects, but I think there are times I can hoard my feelings. Because of past hurts from relationships I often push a feeling or emotion back. With the intention of sharing the emotion later with my husband. I don't always do it intentionally. I usually have intentions of going back and opening up.

  For my daughter, a pretty leaf is her own perfect little treasure that she can tuck away for a later time. What she doesn't realize is that the leaf dies, falls apart and is even more meaningless than before. Much like our hidden emotions it rots, falls apart, and dies. Therein the same problem or issue still exists, and is not resolved. I am an out spoken person, but often emotionally hoard to avoid conflict in my marriage. So I am making a point to tell my husband when something bothers me, or hurts me.

Dazed and Confused

So its been a while, I know. My mother keeps telling me, "oh that's funny, you should go blog!" But I haven't been in the mood for some reason. Or up to par. For the last 2 weeks I have been suffering from dizzy spells, extreme exhaustion, headaches, and a hard time breathing. I went online to one of those medical sites. According to my symptoms I could of had, Vertigo, Diabetes, Anemia, among a list of other diagnosis. Well after 2 weeks I finally went to get checked. Turns out I have an upper respiratory infection. The sinus cavities above my eyes are filling with gunk. Awesome. My brain is infected. It explains a lot really. It explains why when I would bend over to pick up toys i felt like someone kicked me in the head. Or why I would wake up feeling like I slept with a vice on my head. I just feel so dooped! I mean, I had no boogers, no runny nose, no other "cold" symptoms. I honestly at one point thought I was pregnant. Yikes. No, no I am not!

After taking meds for the last few days I feel as though I have been lifted from the fog. I can function as a normal person again. I honestly felt so dazed and confused.

This month we were able to go on a vacation to Las Vegas, for free. Because my husband kicks butt at his job. And we were also able to go to Steamboat Springs for a week with our favorite family and organization (1 Liquid House).  It was breathtaking. 

Hopefully I am back into the groove and blogging again. Here are a few pics of my lovelies, that just make me smile, courtesy of Nichelle Tesone :)

Four Years of Labor

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday! My Isabella is 4 today and I am so happy and sad all at the same time! Today I also find myself in labor...so to speak. As a first time mom four years ago I think that I underestimated the things that motherhood would bring to my life. For example today I am laboring, or struggling with what to do about Bella and her school. Well, more like her teacher. From the first "meet the teacher" night I have not had a great feeling about her. For a preschool teacher she is cold, and very regimented. At first, Bella had a very hard time in the morning when it was time to go to school. She would cry and not want to go. I wrote it off as a transition period, but it doesn't seem to be getting much better. After talking with the head of the school, she reassured me that things would get better with time, and that Bella's teacher was very good academically. Now after having a "goal setting" conference with her teacher, it seems Bella is not where she should be with her alphabet and numbers. Yikes. I did not realize how cut throat this who school thing was.

Anyway I could go on....but my point is that with children the labor never ends. I will be laboring the rest of my life for my sweet girls, and gladly too. I will fight and labor for my kids not matter what. They are worth all the pain in the world!

Guess who else feels that way about His children!? You got it, your Father in heaven does. Its just amazing to me, His love and grace for me is even greater than what I feel for my kids!

Thank you God for enduring all the pain and suffering of the world, because you love us! 1 Cor. 15:58

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

I will just leave you with a few photos that pull on my heart strings today!

Happy Birthday Isabella Brooke!!!

Long time, no blog

Hello! I'mmm baaaack! SO its almost fall and I haven't not really kept up with the blog much. Mostly due to the new biz, and then my fully potty trained clan! Extra time has been spent at the pool! So sad its closed :( I have also been dealing with transition of Bella going to preschool! It's been hard for both of us, and I am still praying about if I should just be doing that stuff with her at home. I just honestly don't know if I have the time for it...but we will see. She loves school after, but going to school is the problem, its hard to leave her! We just love being together :)


Also, I have not been blogging much because I have felt somewhat uninspired. I usually have blog posts pop into my head throughout the day, but I just haven't lately. So I am trying to listen to God a little more, slow down and feel inspired! 

xo,