My Life in Time Lapse

I am not a very "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of girl. I like to know whats happening next, at what time, and with whom. So when my husband said at 10:00 am Saturday morning, lets go to the mountains for the night, you can imagine the instant list and planning that began to scroll through my head! I think its funny how mothers never really have a vacation, especially when the kids go! I sit here Sunday night and imagine my weekend in a time lapse. I would LOVE to see just one day of mine recorded and played back in fast forward! I think it would be hilarious. My cousin did a time lapse one year of his family's Thanksgiving. The family scurried about like ants. I feel this way in life. Going back and forth, going in circles, running around in a hurry, and looking back not know what just happened to 24 hours of my life.

Yet there was a moment this weekend that was for ME. I mean my life is full of special moments. Moments with my children, like this weekend waking up to little smiles peering over their pack n plays. Or watching them giggle and jump on the hotel beds (NOT allowed at home :). Or holding my husbands hand chatting about life as we drive 3 hours to Glenwood Springs. These moments are all priceless, and wonderful. But rarely do I have Nina moments. My friend Hayley and I were just talking about those moments where God reveals His love for you. I had one this weekend. As my time lapse life was in motion. The babies swam with Pablo, Bella sat next to me on the steps in the hot springs, and I noticed the sun was shinning with no clouds in the sky. I looked up in search of the warm sun on my face. I sat in the hot springs, with the suns rays on my face. I thought for a moment I was not in the cold mountains, but on a beach in the warm ocean. It was weird. I literally felt Gods love warm my soul and place me in a different state of mind. Its moments like those that get me through the chaos that is my life. It was a moment like in the movies when time stands still around you.

Although this was not the trip my husband and I long for (7 days child-less in the Caribbean, haha), it was fun. Something I wish we had money for more often. In the mean time, I will hold onto my moment of calm and Love, the moment that seemed to be paused in my time lapse!

The Lord says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3

I pray God finds you in your chaos, hurt, stress, and busy life and reveals is deep love for you.

Now for pics, HOT SPRINGS!!!




"My name is Isabella Brooke", as she introduced herself to people at the springs!





The girls and I

 


Boots and swim suits!





Lili and Gabi

 



Gues who kept running out of this picture?

 


The End.



Lesser of Two Evils

You remember my past entries or mentions of my diet right? Welllll, about that. Although I have lost a lot of weight since November, it is barley noticeable by many. I too cannot see it much, except for on the scale. Oh, and my ring fits better, along with my bras :) I was extreme dieting before and succeeded even during the holiday season. However this time around I kept cheating. After a long talk with my husband, and starting to read the book Born to Crave, I have come to the conclusion that I will not do this diet right now. I have decided to cut portions in half, watch my carbs, and workout. I loathe working out. I think that may be due to all the running my lacrosse and field hockey coaches made me do in high school! At least that is what I choose to blame it on! I also figured out that I love food more than I hate working out! If that makes any sense. In other words, I have chosen the workout route opposed to the extremely restrictive (yet successful) diet I was on. Working out being my lesser evil. So I may not loose another 20 pounds before my sister's wedding, but hopefully I can get down a few more before March 26. I have chosen the lesser of two evils! Because we all know that dieting and working out do seem evil! Yet God wants us to take care of our bodies, so maybe its not so evil?

We ventured out today and went swimming at the rec center today! The girls played in the shallow zero entry pool that has a kiddie slide, and water fountains. I have been meaning to take them all winter and just got to it today! We had a blast, and snacked and swam for hours. It was very tiring, one of those days I needed a nanny, but well worth the work!

*Congratulations to my friend Anita and her new baby girl!

Happy Valentimes!

My not so subtle 3 year old has been telling her daddy all week that she wants a balloon and chocolates for "Valentimes" day! She knows how this holiday works already! I love seeing Pablo spoil his girls. Being a parent truly makes the whole child/Father relationship I have with God more real. I will never fully grasp how much God loves me, but I sure have a better idea of it now that I am a parent.

I know this holiday can be hard if you are single. I read the following letter one year when I was having a difficult time. I actually think its a good letter to read anytime of the year, for anyone!  Then of course pics of our latest baking adventure are below.... Hope you have a good one!

My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1.  I know when you sit down and when you rise up ~ Psalm 139:2.  I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3.  Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ~ Matt 10:29-31.  For you were made in my image ~ Gen 1:27.  In me you live and move and have your being ~ Acts 17:28.  For you are my offspring ~ Acts 17:28.  I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jer 1:4-5.  I chose you when I planned creation ~ Eph 1:11-12.  You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16. I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14.  I knit you together in your mother's womb ~ Psalm 139:13.  And brought you forth on the day you were born ~ Psalm 71:6. I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me ~ John 8:41-44.  I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love ~ 1 John 4:16.  And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1. Simply because you are my child and I am your father ~ 1 John 3:1. I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matt 7:11.  For I am the perfect father ~ Matt 5:48. Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand ~ James 1:17.  For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ~ Matt 6:31-33. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jer 29:11. Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jere 31:3. My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ~ Psalm 139:17-18. And I rejoice over you with singing ~ Zeph 3:17. I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jer 32:40.  For you are my treasured possession ~ Ex 19:5.  I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul ~ Jer 32:41.  And I want to show you great and marvelous things ~ Jer 33:3.  If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me ~ Deut4:29.  Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart ~ Psalm 37:4.  For it is I who gave you those desires ~ Phil2:13.  I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ~ Eph 3:20.  For I am your greatest encourager ~ 2 Thess 2:16-17.  I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ~ 2 Cor 1:3-4.  When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18.  As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isa 40:11.  One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Rev21:3-4.  And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Rev 21:3-4.  I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus ~ John 17:23.  For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed ~ John 17:26.  He is the exact representation of my being ~ Heb1:3.  He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ~ Rom8:31.  And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ~ 2 Cor5:18-19.  Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled ~ 2 Cor 5:18-19.  His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you ~ 1 John 4:10.  I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ~ Rom 8:31-32.  If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me ~ 1 John 2:23.  And nothing will ever separate you from my love again ~ Rom 8:38-39.  Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ~ Luke 15:7.  I have always been Father, and will always be Father ~ Eph3:14-15.  My question is ~ Will you be my child? ~ John 1:12-13.  I am waiting for you ~ Luke 15:11-32
                                     Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

Bella got to decorate alone with me!

Life: Ordinary or Extraodinary?

I have been having one of those weeks. If you read my recent posts and clearly see that! Everything has just felt so ordinary. Blah. Nothing fun or special. I love, love, love the snow, but it is keeping me home bound with the girls. You see, we don't have a garage. May not seem like a big deal, but it is SUCH a hassle getting the girls in the car! When we load up to get in the car its usually like wrangling a heard of small animals. We go outside with my hands loaded with diaper bags, blankets, etc. But when there is snow outside it is just a site! Gabi usually sits down in the snow, or lays down in it, then proceeds to eat it. Lili usually just runs around screaming in it and inevitably ends up falling. Then there is Bella, off in lala land dancing and stomping with her snow boots. This makes for one cold and wet trip in the car.

After nearly four sleepless nights with Lili, (look at my "New" post :) I was trying to figure out why she wasn't sleeping. She has been drooling and cutting teeth like crazy so I tried to just blame it on that. With no other symptoms other than sleepless nights I had no idea what was going on. My mom had said on Sunday, "Maybe its an ear infection?". I thought well maybe...but like I said there was nothing else going on, no fever, no tugging on the ears, and her appetite was good too. Well you know the saying. "mother knows best". In this case it was the mother of the mother, they really know best! Sure enough...double ear infections! My poor baby. Bad mommy! Ah, the guilt that come with being a mom!

You should have seen us load up for the doctor. I think it was still -1 degree outside at 8:45am. There was an opening at 9:15 at the doc. Uh...to dress or not to dress? We would never make it if I tried to cloth everyone! So I grabbed the diaper bag (I try to pre stock it for such occasions), took Bella potty...and off to the car. After hats, coats, and gloves, I carried each pajama kid to the car one by one. Through the snow and negative temps. Whoever was remaining inside would press their little faces against the sliding glass door and cry til I returned for them.

We made it to the appointment! We got looks from other parents. Yes, My kids are in their PJ's, so?

My ordinary life may feel ordinary at times. I may feel alone (although Pablo is such a great father and husband) as a mom, you just feel alone sometimes. A lot of mothers just feel that way I think. Yet, I have never had such great adventures in my life. Thanks Kari R, and Liz P for the feedback on FB! You are extraordinary mommies!

Ordinary: of a common everyday kind

Extraordinary: very unusual and deserving attention and comment because of being wonderful, excellent, strange, or shocking

I looked up some definitions, just be sure. Yep, my life is extraordinary!!!

"Cuh Cake"

Let the Valentines baking begin!!! LOVE V-day, hearts, pink, all things girly and lovey. It's a good thing I have 3 girls! Bella was begging to make cupcakes last week, so we made white cake and strawberry frosting "cuh cakes". That's what Gabi says, "cuh cake, cuh cake". My little muffin can't or doesn't want to say many words. But she sure knows how to say "cook" for cookie and cupcake though. Lili does most of the talking, leaving Gabi to talk out of necessity (She is like her dad in this respect). Lili is a lot like her mom, talks...well, just to talk! Ha. Here are some yummy photos of our latest baking adventure! Sugar cookies are later this week!

CUH CAKE!

NEW

To all of you moms that have had a meltdown moment, I hope you can relate...If not, don't judge me!

Yesterday was a birthday party filled Saturday, with NO NAPS. Well, there was some sleeping here and there in the car, but my girls need beds in order to function. So, you can see where this is heading. Pablo was gone for the evening so I have to do the dinner/clean-up/jammies/chaos/bedtime alone.  Never fun. After finally getting the twins to bed, I started a movie for Bell and got a much needed shower in. Bella and I hunkered down in bed for some Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Only to hear Lili screaming through the monitor. Ugh. Of course! So I go in a few times to try to calm my little peanut. Each time loosing more and more patience. Gabi would just sit up and stare at her sister with the look "Sis, go to sleep already". Clearly L was overly tired from lack of a nap and couldn't calm. After an hour of patting, singing, shushing, and tiptoeing around the nursery I had my meltdown too! I crawled in bed, frizzy hair, soar throat (woke up yesterday feeling sick), SO tired, frustrated and overwhelmed. I look over and Bella is in my jewelry, tangling up chains and making a mess! Aaaaaand over the edge I went! I cried into my hands for a few moments. Isabella looked at me with shock, I tend to hide these moments from my children. She then burst into tears and hugged me saying she is sorry for making me sad! Breaking my heart! I told her it wasn't her fault and that I was just tired and felt like a bad mommy. It was one of those days when you feel like all you did was yell and did crowd control! We sobbed a moment together, then she asked, "Can we call daddy?". I said ok, and asked why? "We need a new mommy!" I said "What? You don't want me?" She replied,  "You're broken!"and hugged me tightly!

Yes, my daughter wanted to replace me! She just wanted me fixed! It hurt a moment, but out of her 3 year old mouth she actually spoke wisdom. She saw my brokenness and knew I needed to be fixed! There are so many times a day, that I need to seek newness in order to go on. A new attitude, a new outlook, a new voice (not the yelling one), and a new goal.

We woke up to several inches of glorious powder this morning! It was beautiful! I love the snow for so many reasons! I think my favorite reason is how snow makes everything new, shiny, white. The dead old trees and grass are blanketed in white marshmallow like fluffiness. I love it! Thank you Jesus for making me new, everyday, every moment! Without God I would be dead and ugly, with Him I am fresh and NEW!!!

"And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new." Rev 21:5

Disobedience

I am feeling a little rebellious, disobedient, whatever you want to call it! I am starting my diet up again to lose more weight for my sis's wedding. I am not feeling it, AT ALL! I am not sure what my deal is but I cant get into the diet groove! I know that no one is forcing me to do this, yet I still feel the pressure! Why? Maybe it is my own pressure, or the weight of the world making me feel like I need to be skinny. Whatever it is, I am wanting to be disobedient! All I can do to understand it at this point is look at my precious little children who disobey me on a daily basis. Tonight I had to put Lili back into the bathtub 3 times! Every time I turned my back this little naked baby was climbing out of the tub and running down the hall! I would put her back in and sure enough, there she goes again!

I often times wonder what is going through their heads when I say "don't touch", and they touch it any way! We always want to do the opposite of what we are told! Rebellion is in all of us, ever since the fall of man. We are born into a world that hates rules and authority. Each of us has our own rebellion. Our own way of disobeying. I feel as though my specific disobedience is towards past issues of mine, but also directly towards God. We are told to treat our bodies as temples because He made them for us.

So here goes another day at attempting to do what I need to do. After celebrating 29 years of life on Monday I think I need to get my butt in gear. 30 is just around the corner! I am feeling old :(