It's in Storage

Have you ever had to put all of your belongings in storage? I have. It is awful. I have had to twice while living with family. My sister just did, my parents have, and my sister in law has her stuff in one right now. I admire all the missionaries that sell everything and go to foreign countries with nothing. It was hard for me to have my things in a box, unable for me to enjoy. It taught me a lot. It taught me the simple life, a life with less things. I can live without it all, I don't like to but I can! But even harder for me lately is that I feel as though I am putting a lot more in storage than my things. I have dreams for me and my family that I push out of my mind and put into "storage". Because the thoughts and dreams have not completely left my mind, I don't toss them out completely, but rather just put in the big orange storage compartment of my brain.

I think that I am very blessed woman, with a loving husband and 3 healthy girls. But I have these times of asking God why is the day to day stuff so difficult? It feels like I am in the deep end, with my head just above the water, not submerged, but almost. If I were to get hit with any little wave I would inhale some water.

So until I can get all of my hopes and dreams out of storage, (btw that's where I keep my pre-baby body as well, in storage :) I will just lock it all up and keep on swimming!

Moving furniture

My mom used to always rearrange our rooms, the living room, her room, you name it. She is good with spaces. I used to wonder why she would move things. I get it now, well at least for me it makes a room look new, fresh, and different. Plus it changes a traffic pattern so the stains on the carpet can be covered! :) I feel like I need to move some furniture around but then I realize that the room is still the same room no matter how you move things around!
Two nights ago I got a call for a last minute cake order. Yay! I plugged in my Kitchen Aid and baked. It was late evening and the babies (I cant use this phrase much longer) we already in bed. There was a lightening storm rolling in and my eldest babe sat on the covered back patio with her stuffed elephant and milk and watched the storm. She is my daughter for sure. A rain lover, just like her mommy and her Mormor.  She asked Pablo why the thunder was so loud, to which he told her God was moving His furniture around. She said "Oh, He is getting our new house ready, I prayed for one last night with mommy!".
THREE nights ago we were also sitting on the back patio when Bella asked if we could get a new house that had an upstairs. I told her I would love to get one but at this point only Jesus could give us one! So she prayed and asked God for a house with an upstairs, and a backyard. Oh my heart! She then looked at me and said, "I prayed to God who lives in the sky, and on the moon...." I smiled at her wisdom but then she said "...on the moon, with Santa Claus and all the presents." Doh! Well almost little one, but not quite! I think I need to re-teach her a few things! haha.

SO, I write this in hopes that God is preparing me a very special place in heaven. If I don't ever have my own house here on earth, I hope I have a huge one in heaven!!! In the meantime, Bella and I will keep asking for one here on the earth!

Praying God fulfills the desires of your heart!


Psalm 20:4
May He grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.

Cutting the grass with Scissors

I cleaned my house today, it had been a while! A thorough scrubbing and washing of linens towels, rugs, toilets, mirrors you name it.  But when it came time to vacuum I remembered that my dirt devil is not working! I sucked up a toy hot dog the other day while vacuuming Bellas room. SO I proceeded to use my dust buster to vacuum the living room! I must have looked like a crazy person! I kind of felt like one. I just used it on the main traffic areas, but still, a little nuts. I began to think of how this reminded me of cutting grass with a pair of scissors! I felt like I was making little to no progress with my vacuuming, much like cutting one blade of grass at a time.

Oh man, this applies to so many things in my life. Like I have this huge yard that needs trimming but as soon as I start to make progress I look up and see this big field of grass that still needs to be done. I feel this way in finances, cleaning, parenting, weight loss, my prayer life...I could go on. 

I am a worrier, as I have said before. My husband is not. He talked to me today to encourage me. He sees when my attitude changes. I begin to be preoccupied and cranky as the weight of life issues bare down on my shoulders. He heard a quote from Graham Cooke today that says "Your actions are an echo of your beliefs". Wow, if this is true I show little belief in God that He will take care of me and all my issues. My actions are a reflection of how my heart feels. I really need to put my anxiety into check because I say that I trust God but so often I am anxious.

In the meantime I need to continue cutting (or vacuuming :) what I can, work on the small picture while God can choose to come through with is big sit down mower anytime! I must remember that God can take care of all things that just seem impossible to me.

Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Rejected!

I miss blogging! Today while the girls were in playgroup I chose to catch up on some laundry that have been clean in baskets waiting to be out away, the girls had been laying in the baskets playing sleeping babies the night before...so some refolding was needed as well! I give you full time working moms LOTS of credit for balancing all that you do! I find the extra hours I have been baking has been taking a toll on my house work!
This new business venture of mine has also been teaching me to form a thicker skin! I think it is fair to say that NO ONE likes to be rejected, eh? I have been so very blessed with at least 2 baking jobs a week, but I get a couple inquiries a week that I get turned down. Mainly because of my prices. I do however try to stay lower than local bakeries doing the same kinds of cakes. (I just cant beat a Wal-Mart price!) It's just so hard to take a NO sometimes! Not feeling good enough for someone can sure make you feel awful. I am so thankful that I have a wonderful family that doesn't reject me, and LOVES me regardless. More importantly I am thankful for my God who doesn't love me depending on my performance.

I hope this finds you all knowing how accepted you truly are by the King!

Off to design a laptop grooms cake! Yay for my Caroline! Excited! :)

My 3 Cupcakes

It's been a while since my last post! This month of May has brought so many new and exciting things, as well as some difficult stuff too! I have recently launched a new business! It is called My 3 Cupcakes! After being told I need to sell my baking for years, I have finally done it. Or I should say, God has finally put this all into place! I really did not even try. I had someone approach me with a need for a cake and some money, and then another... and then boom! I now have at least 6 "gigs" for June! It is all a bit mind boggling to me. Weather or not this fizzles out or stays strong and grows, either way it has been so fun and ego boosting!  It has also brought on many long nights of dreaming about about cakes, and orders and money....blah, the money part if it is my least fav.  Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, one day someone can deal with the money part of it! The anxiety is getting better but I can still feel it creep up on me from time to time! As my friend Hayley said, you are just getting your feet wet! I hope the wetter my feet, the less anxiety I feel about my cake orders!

Here is my business card!!! :)

Yes, I am a sinner!

Today Bella was trying to hide something in her pocket from me, and I said "you little stinker!" She looked at me and said, "Yes! I am a stinker!" Well, at least she was admitting it right?

I will be the first to admit I am not perfect. Far, far from it! Someone told me last week that I was acting like I was a "perfect Christian". I am pretty sure this was meant to be a slam. I am nothing, me, my flesh, my mind, are imperfect. I will admit to this happily. I sin everyday, I fail to live up to being a perfect follower of Jesus daily. These are not things I am proud of, but lets face it we are all lacking. But because of my Jesus I can strive to be something better! 
Romans 2:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"


Living by God's GRACE and MERCY daily,

Made these last week for a dinner with my in laws, oh how baking makes my heart happy :)

HOPE

Hope 1: to cherish a desire with anticipation 2: to desire with expectation of obtainment 3: to expect with confidence

I have always loved the verse 1 Cor 13:7, I used it on my wedding invitations. I had "faith hope and love" on my wedding cake, I have it all through out my home in various places. I have always found it easy to embrace faith and love, not fully understanding hope. Or experiencing it.  Recently I have discovered hope. There is all kinds of destruction going on around me, all different struggles, I have said this in previous posts. People, who know better, making awful hurtful decisions. I have been having a hard time as well. You see, we are really struggling this month financially. It's hard to admit, especially on a public blog. But I really feel like God wants me to share this and my hope with you. My husband is a great provider. He works extra days just for an extra buck. If you know him at all, you would agree his work ethic is like no other. I have had some random "gigs" lately too, but things are rough.

We have a friend who is a pastor in Greeley, and he tells this story about when he and his wife were first married they got their car repossessed. All he could do was laugh. Things were so bad that he just laughed. I have gotten to that point. I hung up our notice of disconnect from Xcel on the fridge as if it were one of Bella's projects. Our first notice ever! Have you ever had less than a dollar in your bank account? Talk about trust and hope.

We have food in our pantry, a roof over our head and clothes. The girls are (thankfully) clothed by others who love to buy them things. I usually would be stressed to the max, sleepless, and crying. Well ok, I did all that last week. But this week I have a new hope. An anticipation that all things will work out for good. I know God has a plan for all of those people that I am concerned about. I know He will take care of me also.

I am excited for things to come, I am ready for tomorrow.

Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."

Happy Birthday Mom! I got to bake a lot this week=happy me.