Always Winter, Never Christmas

As my fellow Coloradans know, this snow season has been sparse. But in the last week, we have had a few dusting's of snow and finally today a big significant snowfall! Every morning that is has snowed Lili would wake up and say "Its Christmas!!!", and run around! After calming her each time explaining that snow doesn't mean Christmas, tears would ensue, every time!

As Mr. Tumnus says in The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, "Its always winter but never Christmas". Narnia was a cold place, a land filled with snow and ice, and lacking the hope and joy that comes with Christmas. Narnians didn't even have that exciting anticipating feeling we all get as we wait for Christmas. It was a hopeless place, filled with hopeless people.

Our world is much like Narnia at times. Even our lives can be much like Narnia at times. Some days it feels like the wind and blowing snow will never stop. The warmth of spring seems far away. The changes we long for seem so far away. The pregnancy and baby that you want and have been trying to have is yet to happen. The relationship that needs miraculous healing and restoration seems hopeless. The husband you desire, is yet to be found. There are so many things that we anticipate in life that seem like eternity before they come to fruition.

But be hopeful my friends, Christmas is coming. God has a plan. We don't live in a hopeless cold land because our Savior has come, He has conquered, and He has overcome. After the Sandyhook tragedy last week, a friend said, "the shadow proves the sunshine". Indeed it does. There is evil, and horrible things in this world. But we have the hope and promise of a new day.

My little Lili only has a few days until her Christmas is here. As for your Christmas, I know that it is coming soon! Have hope!


"It's always winter but never Christmas
It seems this curse just can't be lifted
Yet in the midst of all this ice and snow
Our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope"
Reliant K- In Like a Lion (Always Winter)

Flesh Fails Me

I was sick last week. Yes, the pukey kind. Which is the worst kind. That's what I get for holding and snuggling the girls right after they barf. I can't help it. But every time I am sick there is this one particular friend who always comes through for me. She does happen to live within 5 minutes of me, which helps, but she ALWAYS brings me soup, sprite, whatever. I have faith that she will come through for me . I have many friends that I know I can trust and put faith into for many things in my life.

Yet, recently I have discovered that my instincts and heart can fail me. People fail me. I found that I too often trust people. I get close and then get disappointed, even badly hurt. This can happen with friends, family, and even my spouse.

I have recently taken a little too much interest in the political battle. One fight in particular pulls at my heart strings. Those of you who know my love for babies, can guess what issue. But both sides of this election disappoint, and lead us in the wrong direction. Neither are an answer to prayer for our nations gigantic problems, in my opinion. So I'm trying not to put a bunch of faith into a president. Whomever he may be.

And also a recent story in the news. Jessica Ridgeway. How sad. How so so sad. Humankind failed her, breaks my heart. How can this happen! How can a human being do such a thing?? Making it impossible for any parent to have any comfort and peace.

A friend of mine has a stepson who is rebelling, bad. Wreaking havoc on his home full of little ones and parents who love him. He doesn't even know the things that he is doing.

Intentionally or not, people hurt people. People disappoint me. My family will, my friends, and even my dashingly handsome almost perfect husband.

Bottom line we are all human. We all have faults, we will all disappoint. We all fall short.

I don't know about you, but everything around me in this world is terrifying. The things people are capable of are shocking. But I have to love people, but put my faith in God, or my heart will be broken every time! Last night I felt as though I was carrying the weight of so many people's problems. Then I read this:

Jeremiah 17:5-10
This is what the Lord says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. "But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve."

The List

It's 11:50pm and I just sat down for the first time all day. Except for maybe using the potty? I'm not sure if I even did that! I am blogging to unwind and collect my thoughts for the day. I have my lists for the week at my bedside and not much has been crossed off for the day. Yes, more than one list.  Its one of those weeks where you have a few of them going. Mine are titled: Kings, Sams, Hobby Lobby, Cakes, Safeway, Bella's bday, and then the miscellaneous one that collects all my other random thoughts and have to's. I am also about to make another list for Pablo, entitled the "Honey Doo Doo list". He doesnt have to attend the 5 year old Barbie party this weekend so he gets to clean the bathrooms for me! Hence the "doo doo" part of the the honey do list! Hee hee. I'm thankful he is always more than willing to do that dirty job.

After knocking out 3 of my 4 lists for the week by Thursday, I felt somewhat accomplished. I even rewarded myself with some flowers at King Soopers. They had Gladiolus for $1.25 a bunch! Any color you would want. I went ahead with the white, and Bella liked the pink ones too. But I felt like I should grab one more. I walked away and then felt God telling me to still grab another. With 3 long bunches of flowers at home I felt confused but loved looking at them nonetheless. And shoved them in a vase and set them aside for arrangements later.

I had another sub list to my ongoing miscellaneous list that said "nap time". As you can imagine this was what I had planned to accomplish in the short hour and a half I got to myself while the girls slept. I may have been a little too optimistic in my list for that short time, but hey, worth a shot.

First on the list, make sugar cookie dough. Got that done, check. After cleaning up the kitchen I walked outside to take out the trash and I ran into my elderly neighbor. We chatted for what seemed like a moment. We talked about her garden, what books she just read, how much she loves Obama and hates Mitt, her medical bills, and then how her grown divorced daughter living with her is having a hard time.  Then suddenly her daughter arrived home early from work. Tears in her eyes trying to hold it all back she explained what a bad day she had. Her boss shorted her hours on her paycheck to top it off, and she was emotional. After a long hug she spilled the rest to me with a short conversation. Then I heard a, "hi mommy", Lili found me outside with her blankie in tow.

After going back inside with Lili, I walked into the kitchen and saw the extra bunch of flowers. Aaaaaaah, clarity. That's what they were for. That's WHO they were for. Once again Gods intentionality blows my mind.

God had a list for me today. On His list I was supposed to buy flowers, check. Give them to my neighbor, check. And just give the love of Jesus to her today, CHECK.  I feel so accomplished when I think of it that way. But when I look back on my list of 5 other unaccomplished tasks from nap time, I feel like I got nothing done. But those are all things that will get done. The flowers were on Gods list for me today.

I cant help but think how many other things God had on my list today that I may not have done. What other things does He have for me to do tomorrow? Its way more exciting than buying paper towels at the Safeway $5 Friday sale that's for sure!

God help me to listen to your gentle instruction for my day, help me to accomplish your lists tomorrow and always. Use me to accomplish your tasks! I want to make checks on your list, and to love people like you love them!

I Got This

Do you ever find yourself going through life, doing the day to day, managing the ups and downs, coping with stress the best way you know how? Even on the hard days I handle it and roll with the punches. "I got this, I got this". Until it is just simply too much to bare. The heaviness of life brings me down and guess what, "I don't got this, God!" These moments have been happening a lot lately. From family crises to my little girl fracturing her arm.

Yes, as you know from my Facebook Lili took a fall from a tree. She likes to run around with her older sister and forgets that she is much younger and smaller. My little go getter started walking at 7 1/2 months, (not joking) and hasn't slowed down much since. She is a talker, singer, dancer, climber and runner. As well as faller. We counted her scrapes, scabs, and bruises while we waited at Urgent care yesterday. There was a good 15. She doesn't do things slowly. If we are walking to the pool, she runs. When we have nap time she sleeps the bare minimum. She is my early bird and short napper. She eats fast, and is opposite of her twin in all of this! But all of these wonderful things have their down falls....literally!

Lili bird took to climbing this small tree in our back yard just this past week. She didn't go far up, and the tree itself is more of a bush then a tree. But after many talks about her being careful and my reluctance to let her climb, sometimes there just isn't any stopping her! She managed to dangle from a branch and at some point came to that point of "I don't got this, help!" moment. Big sister Bella was there, but at 4 years old, catching her sister did little but break her fall as they both tumbled.

I can't believe I wasn't there, that I didn't hear her cries for help. I wish I would have had a better eye on her.

Thankfully God always has an eye on us. So when I have those, "I don't got this" moments, my Dad has "got it" for me. Phew, He always is there for these moments of weakness and need. Now, relying on Him for every moment and every need is something I have to work on. I can't even take the little things on alone because those are one of the main things that break me!

I got this God, but only with your help!

Psalm 26:1
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.


"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

The End of a Season

I just returned from a long walk at dusk. When the sun is setting and the clouds are all tinted shades of pink and purple. The dark outline of the mountains are contrasted against the glowing blue sky. This is my favorite time of day. Everyone is settling into their homes for an evening with their families. But as I left mine during bath time (great husband I have to take over nightly duties), I have a heaviness in my heart. Although this is my favorite time of day to enjoy Gods glory, I have a pang in my heart tonight. You see, the end of the summer is here.

Although fall equinox is not till the 22nd, we always seem to look ahead to the next season. Hence, Starbucks already serving their pumpkin spice latte today! But as I walked tonight, I passed our pool and the pool in the neighborhood next to ours. Both eerily vacant with still waters. The sun is sitting at a different angle, and even due to our record dry season, the trees are yellowing and leaves starting to fall. It seems everything and everyone around me is already over this season and onto the next season. Except me.

I'm not always good with change. Especially when it takes away from my hopes and dreams. For example, I always have big plans for the summertime. Lots of evening walks, pool days, and adventures....although we had many of these, the busyness of life seems to outweigh these. Every time summer ends I mourn. I don't look forward to the dead dry ugly plants. The squishy wet moldy leaves, blah. I hate the color orange. I despise Halloween, and all the ugly evil things that go along with it.

Even though I go through this every year, this year is worse than most. Probably because a season in my life is also about to end. This change in season outside is a mirror of what's going on in my heart. And what's going on in our family. We strongly feel that God is going to take us somewhere soon. Maybe it's a move? Who knows. But all of the signs from God are pointing to change. Have I mentioned I don't like change?

So as everyone else looks ahead to the next season. I am not ready. Im staying in this season until the next one is officially here. I'm not quite in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte, or a move. But hopefully I will be soon.

Picking Up the Pieces

It's been a tough week. I've been watching my sweet little guy Max, and my dad went into the hospital for a hip replacement, ouch. I think I have said this fifty times in my blog, but I am a worrier. I worry about it all. Worry is my cryptonite. It often leaves me defenseless and without any superhero powers. Dang it. I really need those. But regardless I have been as strong as I can through this difficult time for my family members. Feeling as though I need to help clean up and pick up this mess someone else has left.

My dad has been in the hospital for 3 days and my sweet mom stopped in to make me lunch Tuesday. She would, she takes good care of me! Her entrance was similar to a busy little tornado off to her next stop. On her frantic way in and out to get to the hospital she dropped her glass container...blam! Shattered. All over the floor. From chunks of glass to small itty bitty tiny flakes. It spread to all corners of the kitchen. She, of course, swept it up and I followed with the vacuum. Isnt that the worst? When suddenly it slips out of your hand, you find yourself in slow mo saying "Noooooooo" in the slow mo voice, of course.

But what if she had left? What if my mom dropped this glass and left wanting, no, expecting me to pick up the pieces?

I feel as though someone came into my life dropped a glass and left for me to clean it all up. I have to quickly pick up the pieces before someone gets hurt. I have to be strong and careful as to not get cut.

Help me to be strong God. But also help me to let you clean up the mess. Along with being a worrier, I'm a fixer. So as I sit up at 12:04 am worrying about the mess, I am also trying to fix the mess. Bottom line, I can't. People are gonna get hurt, weather it is a small wound, or a deep wound from a sharp piece. There is nothing I can do but pray that God takes care of me an the precious ones involved.

Help me let go God, help me to let you what you do best..and mend the broken.

Isaiah 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

The light In the darkness

As I sit on the back patio listening to the distant siren, I can hear a cricket in the garden and my children discuss which book to read for bedtime as they scurry inside... I have peace. I have a kitchen full of dishes and a floor that desperately needs cleaning I looked for a bit of serenity. My children were running around with their lanterns tonight and as I looked on I found it. My girls were the only thing I could make out in the dark. It's getting darker earlier...boo!

But after a whirlwind of a few weeks, with a range of emotions...sadness, anger, regret, depression....I feel as though I am I'm the eye of my storm. It's calm for now, but I fear that soon the rest of the chaos will soon come and thrash me around a bit. Yet, for the moment I have peace and I see the light in the darkness.

God has never promised an easy life, but He did promise to always be there. I'm so thankful for that. As my children ran inside, they left their lanterns on the table in front of me. They were gone, but their lights remain. Although People or situations are dark, I have to leave a light shining bright. An impression of light if you will. I pray every night that my children would "shine with the love of Jesus all the days of their lives". Even at their young age, my little lights leave a little glimmer of hope in everyone's life they meet. Not because of who they are, (I mean they are no doubt the cutest), but because they have the love of Jesus. They stop people dead in their tracks, daily. Love shines from them lights beacons in the dark. It's truly mind boggling sometimes.

May my light also be powered by the One and only true source of light and love. Help me to shine in the darkness God, to make it through the next storm.

"so that you may become blameless and pure, children ofin a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:15 (one of my favorites)

Mind The Gap

Mind the Gap, no not the Gap that sells overpriced yet extremely adorable kids clothes. But rather the gap that exists between the platform and the train. The place you jump over to get onto the subway. Know what I'm talking about? The London Olympics have inspired this analogy! I am going to have a lot more time on my hands now that it is over!

Now, I don't live close to the London Underground, or even take the light rail that is yards from my house. I'm all for the comfort of my own car, personally. We drove to California last month, instead of flying, because who can afford to buy 5 airplane tickets, right? Well, some people can...we can't, ha! The plus to driving to the coast was that we got to pack the crap out of our car. This was an adventure we needed to take. In a very odd season of our lives we took a risk and went! much needed family time! But on the way home from our amazing trip I had that feeling. You know that feeling when you feel like something is wrong? Or you forgot something? I didn't leave a kid in California...so what was it? I blew it off to just being sad about leaving our vacation.

But after a day or two home I still had that pang in my stomach like I was about to hear bad news, or like I was gonna fall. After talking to my BBFF she encouraged me to pray about it and that maybe God was preparing my heart for something.

Sure enough, soon after that we had a big something happen to the family.

There it was, the gap.

I was de-railed. And to be honest, weeks after this event, I am still derailed. People close to me are going through difficult times. I am sitting in that gap between that solid steady ground, and the train that is about to embark onto the next destination. But in that gap I feel God slowly pulling me out, and the more I look upward the closer I am to getting on the train to move on. And I can't wait for that next stop...I don't want to miss it.

So the next time you get that feeling, mind the gap. Beware of that small dark tiny place you could fall into. God might be preparing you for a fall. Other times we get to hop over those tough moments, by Gods grace alone, and head over to the next stop. But other times He allows us to be in the difficult situations so we can look up at Him to be our strength.

So listen to the Holy Spirit, and mind the gap!

3, 6, 9, 12

Okay, I'm not OCD, but I hate odd numbers. They bug me. I make a point to put an even number of ice cubes in my glass! I don't like uneven things. I'm all for symmetrical things. In fact, my favorite number has always been 8. Its not only even but it also looks nice and even. Symmetrical! Love it. I always told Pablo I wanted 4 kids, and here we are with 3! Guess I have to have another! Jk. But with 3 children I have to buy uneven things. 3 shirts, 3 bows, 3 dolls. And I am always looking at packages of food, juice boxes, stickers, etc, to make sure it comes with enough for them each to have one. 3, 6, 9, 12. I just packed juice boxes for our trip to California. They come 10 a box dang it. Yes, we are off on an adventure! I will blog on that later!

I was sitting in bed the other night with these numbers bouncing around in my head, preventing me from sleep. Some even, some odd. I finally made some order of it, and realized the importance these play in my life right now.

3! My babies are 3!!! Cannot emphasize enough how sad this makes me! But also how much I love my little three year olds. They indeed have changed my life since the moment they were first in my womb! I am sad because the last three years have been a whirlwind. A crazy blur of diapers, hugs, cries and kisses. Three is a fun age and I'm so in love with my beautiful THREE year olds!!!

6! This Monday Pablo and I will be celebrating our 6th year of marriage! Another one of those, "how?" milestones! How did we get from the giggly, kissey, young newlyweds to the early to bed, stressed, and barely even date married veterans? It has been such an amazing journey! But I must say I am glad to be out of our 5th year and onto the next year! This year has been one of the hardest years of marriage yet! You would think that the year our twins were born would have been? Nope. It was year 5! Who would have thought. But here we are, into year six! Stronger than ever and very much respecting couples who make it to 50 years and beyond! Props. Happy sixth anniversary babe!!!!!!

9! I met my hubby nine years ago, during a time in my life that I was searching, looking, longing. I was coming out of a very wild time in my life. I was looking for God again, realizing He had never left. Even when I has turned from Him, he stood with me the entire time. Nine years ago I decided I was done running from Jesus and wanted to run towards Him. All the drugs, alcohol, and men couldn't fill the void I had. I returned to what I knew as a child. My first love. I believe God also gave me Pablo at the same time to walk along beside me as I put my relationship with Christ back together.

12! Twelve years since I graduated high school! Um, what?? Yes. I am that old. After turning 30 this year and now embarking on my 12th year out of high school, I feel ancient. But I could not be happier with the twelve years of growing, learning, and becoming who I am today. Here's to being an even happier person twelve years from now!

I will just leave you with this cute little number pic that I can't get enough of! My three cupcakes! My three baby girls :)

My heart longs for you!

It's been waaay too long since my last post! The last couple months have been filled with cakes, graduation parties and the pool! YES, the pool is finally open :) We are pool rats.

LateIy, I find myself longing. As a mom I am happy to simply pee alone, let alone have any time alone. I have nothing to complain about, I have healthy kids, a fantastic husband, and a roof over my head. Yet, I still get stuck. Stuck in a cloudiness that consumes me. I seem to feel unfulfilled and empty. Regardless of what I try to fill it with.. My kids don't fill the void, nor my husband, money, success, food, friends, family, new clothes, the tv. It's like the cheesy saying goes, there is a God shaped hole in my heart. Well, my soul longs for the One who can fill me. When I remember that He is the One and Only who can complete me, things start to make sense.

Have you ever missed someone so much it hurts? Whether they be dead or living on earth? I have felt both this week. My grandfather is getting ready to sell his home. The place that he built for my grandmother. Cancer took her 9 years ago. It still seems like yesterday. I can remember her laugh and the way her hands look. I longed for her at her old home Sunday when we went for dinner. She is truely missed, still. I am comforted that she believed Jesus was her savior and has an amazingly grand home in heaven now! BUT, I still miss her.

I also am missin my new baby nephew Benaiah Thomas! Oh my heart longs to hold and see him! My brother and his wife live in Kansas so we are working on a visit. But until then, I am anxiously anticipating kissing his sweet cheeks!

The longing for my heavenly Father is daily, even hourly. If only I would recognize that in the moment when I feel empty. My emptiness is indeed longing for my Savior. Seek Him, He is there. He never leaves.

Oh Kim Walker's voice gets me every time. Check it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR6y4DtmmSQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

And here in the new little bundle!!

Fire

It's been some time since my last blog! In the last month I have been busy baking cakes and raising my girls! That leaves little time for much else! Ha. The last few weeks have been somewhat dramatic for various reasons. Feeling like there are fires all around me. Fires in people's lives, relationships, etc. Fires in my life, with finances, with my husband, and relatives. I don't know why I am always so surprised when such events happen. I know that life will never be easy, yet when the fires and difficult things happen, it still jars me a bit!

 Last month we had a horrible forest fire here in Colorado. Although it was caused by a controlled burn gone wrong, these fires are not uncommon to our area. Three people died and many houses lost. Our dry region is always susceptible to fire. In fact, wild fires are an essential part of the forest ecosystems.  Fires actually helps make things grow back better and stronger because it gets rid of the dead things and releases new organic matter. It causes rebirth in the land.

Similar to  natural fires, our life fires cause rebirth and growth.  In the end all of the yucky stuff that was there is now gone and turned into ashes. Regardless of how they started. I have to say some fires are started by me, by my mistakes, or my big mouth. Other fires are completely out my my control, and all I can do is endure through the flames.  It reminds me of these verse:

1 Peter 1:7
Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

I am trying to keep the faith. I am enduring the flames.

Seasons

We get all four seasons here in Colorado. Which I am thankful for! Mostly...but it's this "winter thaw" that gets me. I enjoy Colorado winters, unlike my Argentina born husband. Who is currently grumbling at the snow forecast tomorrow! He would move us to Florida if I would let him!

It's almost spring. And I can hardly wait for summer! We have had a lot of snow. I've had my snow fix...now on to warmer weather now! This change is season seems to be mirroring so many things in my life. I am in a new place spiritually and physically. I am at a place where I can see some thawing but it's still cold. Spring is an "in between" season. Not cold. Not hot. Things are peeking through the ground...but no real changes can be seen yet. Just the beginning signs of change.

I hope whatever season you are in is peaceful. I pray that if you are stuck in the dead cold of winter that some thawing happens soon. Whether its in your marriage, finances, spiritual life, etc.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens" (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)

"He changes the seasons and guides history, He raises up kings and also brings them down, he provides both intelligence and discernment" (Daniel 2:21 MSG)

Coupon Fairy

Most weeks I get to go grocery shopping alone...most weeks. I have a great mom who helps me, and of course my husband will let me escape for some one on one time with my coupon book! But schedules and such prevented that from happening this week. Today I took my 3 girls shopping, that is always an adventure. Last week I took the girls into Sams club to get TP in bulk, ew. We also picked up a big container of blueberries, half of which made it on the floor! A 4 year old child of mine bumped it and popped the lid open, and bumped it again. Clean up on aisle 6 please?

So today after hitting the produce we made our way with huge car cart to the deli counter where. After ordering a pound of turkey I looked down at the shelf below the counter. Low and behold there is a coupon! A sweet little coupon placed strategically for me to get $1.50 off my pound of deli meat!

I know, it seems so silly. But more than saving a measly $1.50, it just means someone cared enough to share it, rather than throwing it away. This has happened to me a few times. Each time I reached for my product and the coupon was right there! Maybe I am the only one this happens to. But at any rate, I imagine my coupon angel fluttering before me placing the small, delicate, rectangular, 50 cent savings, exactly in the right place for me to see it...just to make me smile!

Actually, when I get really practical about it, it's probably no fairy or angel, but a sweet old lady who shares my love to save a buck or two! Makes my heart happy :)


The girls did great today, they even got a penny horse ride with "Bullseye"!

Great Responsibilities

I often feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Today I finished Valentines day orders, which was so fun.....and so much work! Along with that, I took care of my 3 needy girls, kept up with laundry, the dishes, preparing meals, hosting playgroup, baths, a workout, etc, etc. But at the end of the day I often turn on the news to unwind. I enjoy the news, I always have. Even in high school! Mostly the weather, I used to want to be a meteorologist! Haha. Anyway, tonight the news was filled with Whitney Houston's death. They showed an interview of her where she said that she knew God had given her a gift. Her voice, obviously. A lot of people can sing, but her gift was big!!

You remember that verse Obama poorly referenced and used to illustrate rich people and taxes?

"For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required."
Luke 12:48

Jesus was talking about a slave to his master, which can be most related to an employee to employer relationship in modern day. I think most of us can say work feels like our master sometimes! But I know that Gods word can always be used in our lives personally. Even if Jesus was talking about a slaves responsibilities, we can apply His word to us, today.

Here is a version in the Message Bible, I love this version.

"Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!"(Luke 12:48 MSG)

I do think the rich need to be held to the same tax standards, but I don't think this verse was appropriate for that. God has given us gifts, all of us. Whitney Houston's gifts gave her a public life and a job in the entertainment industry. My husband and children are my greatest gifts, among so many. But I am not in the public eye. So although at a different level, our responsibilities do exist.

It's how we choose to use our gifts. I will choose right now to use my gifts to glorify the One who gave them to me. My Master.

"God, I am sorry that I often don't appreciate all the gifts you've given me. But I take every and all responsibilities that go along with my gifts. Help me on the hard days! Give me Your strength God."

A Moment in Time

Tomorrow I will be purchasing my first iPhone! I have been waiting for my 2 year upgrade to get the best deal on my phone, and saving my birthday money! I know, I sound like a 13 year old saving her babysitting money! 13, going on 30. Ha! But since I have turned 30 last week, I now have a huge pimple smack in the middle of my cheek! Yuck, sometimes I feel like I am 13 still! You know how when people lose a lot of weight and they have a hard time with their "new" skinny body? Well I have that opposite mentality! I still cant believe that I am 30 and overweight! Enough of that....anyway, back to the new phone!

Although I am SUPER excited to get a phone that functions properly, I am kind of sad to get rid of my old one! I have had this Droid Eris for almost 2 years. This phone reminds me of a particular moment in time. We had just moved into my parents basement with the girls (awaiting our next move), and I was so excited to have a smart phone! The twins weren't even one yet and the very first picture I took in it was Lili doing her "old man face" she used to do on command. It also documented when we were at playgroup and Gabi crawled into someone else's toy bin. I remember these moments like they were yesterday. My phone triggers those memories, and that specific period in time.  My babies were still babies, not even 1 yet. Its just like when I sort through my girls clothes and spot clothing that triggers a memory. I smell it and it brings me back to a different moment in their lives.

I think my husband thinks I am TOO sentimental at times. I probably am. Isabella is now just like her mom, she cried when we got rid of our old hand me down TV for the new flat screen. She said, "I like our old TV!" We have moved so many times in the last few years and every time we move I feel like we leave a little bit of our hearts behind. I get sad when I have to move, even if I am excited for a bigger, better place.

All in all, I am PUMPED for my iPhone! But when you replace the old there is always some hesitation to look back.

Here's to hopefully blogging on my new phone next time!

Tea Partaay

 Today the girls and I stayed home and did girly stuff all day. My girls are the best. 
Bella was dying to have a tea party so I told her we could have a tea party lunch. But first we baked peanut butter m&m brownies!

After mixing!

Placing the peanut butter M&M's in the brownie batter!

Counting M&M's! There are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,  "seben" says Lili

 After baking it was time to tea partaaay!

Tea party lunch! Mini peanut butter sandwiches, strawberries, flower shape cucumbers, turkey rolls AND...wait for it...

Cheese cut outs! The girls favorite part of the spread

I had to make more! If you watch the show Raising Hope, you will appreciate these :)

Tea partying it up!

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And for dessert, our finished brownies, graham cracker cookies, and chocolate dipped pretzels!

Stars

I haven't been this invested in the Denver Broncos for some years. I remember as a child loving them, football was in my blood. I also remember when I was in high school they won the Super Bowl back to back. That was so much fun! But this year, we made it only to the second round of the playoffs and I am so pumped. I actually started watching games again, instead of napping on Sunday afternoons. Some could call me a fair weather fan, but that's not it. I am a CU and Bronco fan for life! Just like CU, I want them to win, I don't speak badly about them, but I am awaiting to see some life in the team.

And what life we saw this season in the Broncos. Not only were they ultimately successful on the field but they were stars. I think Tim Tebow was obviously the brightest star on the team when it came to attitude...and I really think his teammates followed. I just watched Tim Tebow's post game interview and all he talked about was the great opportunity he had this season, and what a privilege it was to hang out with Zach McCloud he brought to the game. He said its all about your perspective and what lens your looking through.

You see, Tim has chosen to look at the world from the point of view of those less fortunate. He sees how insignificant a game win really is. On the same note, he is still an NFL athlete that plays his butt off for a win. I am sure he would love to be playing again next week, rather than not. But he see that isn't everything. I later saw a highlight from Tom Brady's post interview and he said, winning is all that matters. I am not kidding. He said it and I probably would never have noticed if I didn't see the Tebow interview just before his. The FOX 31 news commentators gave Tebow a hard time saying that his win or lose attitude was not leadership or quarterback quality. I cant even tell you how much I would rather have that attitude in a quarterback!

Aren't these the qualities we want to teach our kids? Is being the most winning-est anything really that important? When we get to heaven do you think God will want to know how many "games" we "won" in life, or how we glorified Him? Or how we loved one another? How we cared for those less fortunate than us. I for one, learned a lot about myself this Broncos season. Something I would NEVER have imagined I would say.

This season Tebow truly was a star and he shinned in a very dark place. Something I pray my for my kids every night!

 "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" Phil 2:15

I have never heard so many harsh words about Tim, but I have also never seen so much optimism after coming off a 45-10 loss! What a bright future the Broncos have! What a bright future we have in Christ!

My grandma Nadine gave me this quote when I was in college, only a few short months before she died...
"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." ~Elizabeth Kubleu

GB2!! Win or lose!!!

What's Next?

My four year old loves a celebration or party of any kind. Much like her mama, she loves any excuse to decorate, wrap presents, or get creative and make things. This last Christmas was definitely the most fun we have had with our girls on a holiday yet. They really are starting to understand the different holidays and what they are about. Its so fun. But after any birthday or holiday Bella always asks, "Whats next mom?". She always wants to know who's birthday is coming up, or which holiday we can decorate for. She even asks who's wedding is next. So cute.

As I put away Christmas I thought about what was coming up for us in 2012. This month I will be turning 30! Yikes. But as far the rest of the year I hope there are some big things. Like big weight loss! I hope that every year, alongside much of America. I also hope for some fun and exciting adventures, a trip...somewhere, anywhere! My husband could really go for a beach vacation, or even a move to a state close to a beach. I am not sure about that, but I do want God to make some changes for our family. Since we move so often I always wonder as I put away Christmas decorations if I will be putting up my decorations on the same mantel next year. Every year I wonder if this will be the year we buy a home, or my husband gets a new job, or if I find my waistline!?

For with all seriousness, the new year always brings up the question, whats next? Thanks for reading along as I find out.

Happy New Year!!!